Mike and Dukie

I'm now finally through three episodes of Season 4, and I swear, Dukie is almost exactly like Mike was when I first met him - dirty, smart, funny. He even looks like him, and his home life (was) how I imagined it to be.

Since he moved in with a distant relative over the summer, Mike has continued to do well. He stops by and sees me most days after school. He has intelligence and wit that most adults don't yet have, so my colleague and I trade jokes with him and he's always ready with a humorous reply. He's a fun kid to talk to and to root for. I often give him a ride home and sometimes try to stop by McDonald's and get him some dinner, since the 2nd cousin he lives with works nights. I took him Christmas shopping to Wal-Mart so he could get her something, and I bet we were an odd pair, looking at bathroom soaps in baskets, him chatting up every older woman passerby about what to buy and the older women being taken in by his charm and then looking at me, the white guy, standing with the cart.

Now, he's even happier than he was in the winter; he has a girlfriend that he can't stop goofily grinning about, he is doing well academically, and he is even thinking about joining the track team. At face value, he is a normal, well-adjusted kid.

On Feb. 1, a date I've been dreading for a while, he is set to go to a court date, and the adult 2nd cousin who has been caring for him is set to give him up. Barring someting unforeseen, he'll go into foster care. He's been in and out of them before - hates it, never wants to go back, says he might not really come to school much if that happens. I don't know how someone who is family could do something like this cousin is doing - to provide stability, and then to yank it away (though I admit I don't know all their business). My colleague jokes that she has the paperwork already ready for me to begin the adoption process; she knows the situation with "Bobby" a few years back, when he stayed in my basement for the last few months of his senior year until his full-ride scholarship kicked in at the University of Maryland (where, by the way, he is a sophomore and excelling... maybe I'll post a photo of him soon since he's so far out of high school - he is the American Dream to me). But I'm in a different living situation now, and it would just be impossible. Send good thoughts Mike's way. I don't know what happens to Dukie in The Wire (maybe by the end of the weekend, I'll have it all watched), but if it's what I think is coming, I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it, or handle watching Mike going into foster care.

It's driving me out of my mind / that's why it's hard for me to find / can't get it out of my head

Ever since I've woken up today, I've felt like something was caught in my throat, like someone is putting their fingers over the opening to my esophagus, like where my tonsils are. It's really annoying but not painful. I did some googling tonight and it's pretty that I have throat cancer.

I'm just kidding, of course. The WWW has given us far too many options for self-diagnosis. I do think I'm going to make a doctor's appointment, though. It's driving me crazy. The only way happy is if I'm drinking water because it makes the feeling go away for a split second.

In other news, I started exercising with the kids today. I can beat them in push-ups. But they all beat me running. I told them that if any of them let me beat them, they had to do an extra lap. All but two beat me, and I just didn't have the heart to send asthma-boy or recovering-from-a-sprained-ankle boy around again, though.

First day of class tomorrow, my last class in my Master's Program. I'm pretty excited. Not about class, but about a Master's. Then I can move on with my life.

This week's songs on the Nano at the gym: "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground, "Poison" by Bel Biv Devoe, and "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" by Joan Jett (it's been stuck in my head ever since hearing it on Season 2 of The Wire)

Barack Obama's mention of Epiphany in Baltimore in his SC speech

Barack Obama mentioned me in his SC victory speech:

So let me remind you tonight that change will not be easy. That change will take time. There will be setbacks, and false starts, and sometimes we will make mistakes. But as hard as it may seem, we cannot lose hope. Because there are people all across this country who are counting us; who can't afford another four years without health care or good schools or decent wages because our leaders couldn't come together and get it done.
Theirs are the stories and voices we carry on from South Carolina.
The mother who can't get Medicaid to cover all the needs of her sick child - she needs us to pass a health care plan that cuts costs and makes health care available and affordable for every single American.
The teacher who works another shift at Dunkin Donuts after school just to make ends meet - she needs us to reform our education system so that she gets better pay, and more support, and her students get the resources they need to achieve their dreams.
The Maytag worker who is now competing with his own teenager for a $7-an-hour job at Wal-Mart because the factory he gave his life to shut its doors - he needs us to stop giving tax breaks to companies that ship our jobs overseas and start putting them in the pockets of working Americans who deserve it. And struggling homeowners. And seniors who should retire with dignity and respect.
The woman who told me that she hasn't been able to breathe since the day her nephew left for Iraq, or the soldier who doesn't know his child because he's on his third or fourth tour of duty - they need us to come together and put an end to a war that should've never been authorized and never been waged.
The choice in this election is not between regions or religions or genders. It's not about rich versus poor; young versus old; and it is not about black versus white.
It's about the past versus the future.


Substitute "Dunkin' Donuts" for "charming little Fells Point restaurant" and "his" for "her" and there you have it.

I actually am pretty broke right now. None of my tuition bill of $2500 from the fall has been reimbursed (I get about 50-60% back after taxes) and my tuition bill from the spring (about $1200) has also been paid, meaning I'm about $4000 behind. I've already borrowed from my savings once this year to pay rent, and might have to do it again. Yet, I went to Staples yesterday and spent $107 all on things for my classroom - staplers, hole puncher, printer ink, chalk. But it was so nice to say today, "Yes, I have a stapler!" as it's been a few weeks. I tried to buy a nice one so it would last, but I've got to say, the semi-expensive one I bought at Kinko's earlier this year lasted all of three weeks.

It's all good, though. I've got a lesson tomorrow on anaphora and its effect on meaning (using A Lesson Before Dying, Winston Churchill, Malcolm Luther King, and the speech above from Barack Obama) that will knock their socks off. Not that it matters to me much as I was planning the lesson, but word is that we'll have a visitor today or tomorrow into our classrooms.

ALBD

I wrote the curriculum for the 9th grade, and, because of that, I get the extreme privelage of teaching books I love. Today, we started A Lesson Before Dying. My students loved listening to short stories on tape a few weeks ago, so I started chapter one by listening to a recording of it. They seem to be really into it. I showed Dead Man Walking last week as sort of a primer for the text. There's some issue with that, because I don't teach the text as a novel about the death penalty. Nor is it a novel about race to me. It's a novel about horrible things happening to a person, yet that person still having a choice to live life the way he sees fit - the whole "life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it" argument. It's a novel about confronting what scares you or what pisses you off, and not running from it. It's a novel about how our choices affect that of others. I love it and hope the kids do too.

Giant & the Y

You'd think that after Giant invested such a large amount of money to put in a fancy new store on Greenmount and 33rd, that they'd run it a little better. And, for the most part, it's run well - it's well stocked, the produce always looks great, it's clean. But damn it if every single time I go there they are short on cashiers, and there are literally lines that go back well into the food aisles. It's a regular thing that should be an embarassment. Open some more lanes!

Speaking of which, the Stadium Place YMCA is also making me mad. Some machines have been broke since December and, tonight, I walked in at 8:15 to find every single (working) machine full. I consider prime time for gyms to be between 5 and 7, so specifically waited until afterwards to get my workout on. But I'm going to stick with the mornings or bust from now on. I walked right on out. I sure showed them! Ha ha.

Sunday night

1. Rumor has it that the Orioles have traded Eric Bedard for Adam Jones and company, pending physicals, and I have some mixed feelings about it. As something of an Orioles fan, I think it's a great move: Bedard is good, but he's also been frustratingly brittle throughout his career, which has never seen him pitch 200 innings; I think he's going to battle injuries for the rest of his playing days, and that his value will never be higher than it is right now in this starting pitcher-deprived market. That being said, as a Tigers fan, I don't want any possible Wild Card teams to have a pitcher like Bedard. I guess Seattle is putting themselves in a spot to try to make a run for it this year. It'll also make the Orioles easier competition this year against the Yankees and Red Sox, which isn't a good thing for the Tigers in their ascent through the playoffs. But six years of Adam Jones for two years of Eric Bedard seems like a great deal. I doubt of Bedard tops 350 innings in those two years, either.

2. I worked way too much this week at the second job - Wednesday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night. I've definitely found that two days a week is my upper limit for working over there. I prefer one night a week (relaxing Sunday night, where I can almost always make a guaranteed $100+ and get out of there on time), but two is okay for now. Three pushes me over the limit. It's still nice to have the second job - today, I literally spent $107 at Staples on supplies for my classroom, and then made the money back waiting tables; yesterday, I bought a long-shopped-for pair of baseball cleats that match my school's somewhat unusual school colors, and paid for it with tips from that night. But, three nights makes me crazy. Laundry isn't done, my room is a sty, and I'm starting A Lesson Before Dying tomorrow without as cohesive a unit plan as I'd like. I'm not sure how long I'll keep the second job - I'm still hurting from my spring and fall tuition bills (haven't been reimbursed for either yet), and have some credit card bills I'd like to pay off - but it would behoove them to keep me at two nights a week, maximum. I usually only notice I'm exhausted when I hit three.

3. I took a day off from the gym today after seven days in a row. I was just going to go in and run on the treadmill - I'm finally building myself back up to being able to run two miles without my foot hurting - but my hamstrings were sore from the deadlifts yesterday, and I did Pilates For Men at home instead. It was only my second time through it, and I know it's cliched as hell to say it kicks my ass, but it does. I believe I have very poor posture, and my "core" is probably the weakest part of me, so it's good that I'm trying out something new. The weird part about doing the video, though, is that the cheery British lady tells the instructions while two guys model it, but she makes me do such strange twisting motions that I often cannot see the television and end up guessing.

4. If you missed it, Caroline Kennedy - who is not political, and hasn't publicly spoken up for a presidential candidate since 1980 - has endorsed Barack Obama. The mantle of the next Kennedy has been passed, and I'm hopeful that Feb. 5 goes okay. Here is Carolyn Kennedy's endoresement: I want a president who understands that his responsibility is to articulate a vision and encourage others to achieve it; who holds himself, and those around him, to the highest ethical standards; who appeals to the hopes of those who still believe in the American Dream, and those around the world who still believe in the American ideal; and who can lift our spirits, and make us believe again that our country needs every one of us to get involved. I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans.

We're looking for more than a change of party in the White House

I'm so disappointed with Bill Clinton these days. I was never a big fan - I never voted for him - but have thought his legacy was a decent one, especially compared to the man who followed him. But he's destroying it, with his race-baiting, unethical tactics against Obama. Him dismissing yesterday's Obama victory by saying, "Well, Jesse Jackson won South Carolina twice" was so disappointing and - yes - racist that it turns my stomach. The Clintons are relying on racial polarization to win, and I really, really hope that it fails, because it says so much about America if it does fail. There's no difference between what they're doing and what Karl Rove and George W. Bush did with wedge issues like gay marriage back in 2004.


I wonder how Feb. 5 will play out now that Obama handed the Clintons this ass-whooping down in SC. Obama's speeches continue to be amazing testaments to the power of people coming together and, yes, of hope:

Five things on a Saturday

1. It was a long week, but an accomplished one: I held a baseball pre-season meeting and did a bunch of work in getting the season set up. I finally finished all my grades and turned them in on time. Lessons were just okay, but the 9th graders were really into Dead Man Walking (shown to set up the themes of A Lesson Before Dying) and the Juniors are hard at work at their link papers.

2. I made it to the gym for a 6am-7:30am workout every day last week, and really hope I can keep it up. I usually can make it the first couple of days, but am derailed once I have to wait tables, or by Friday, when my sleep deprivation kicks my butt. But this week, I made it every day, including Friday, for the first time all year.

3. I was pretty exhausted by the time Friday afternoon rolled around, though, and my energy during Happy Hour was pretty low. I headed in early, and was asleep by 9pm. That's okay.

4. I was out at Joe Squared yesterday, and a couple lit cigarettes right by our table, and I just remembered thinking, "Ahhh... this will probably be the last time this happens, eh?" and my hands and coat smelling like smoke because a minority wants to smoke will be a thing of the past. Feb. 1 couldn't come quicker.

5. Gosh, I hope Obama wins today and, more importantly, I hope Clinton comes in 3rd. We need to get in the way of that momentum she's got. I've always been lukewarm about Bill Clinton, but I pretty much hate him for how he's run this campaign now. Hillary, I like more.

The brawl

Wednesday after school, I saw "Deondre" and "Leon" rushing past my classroom with looks of anxiety on their face. Normally these are kids - especially Leon - who would stop by and say hi, but they rushed past without even turning their heads. I sensed something was up, and called Leon's name. He didn't see me, or ignored me, and kept on trucking down the stairs. I actually chased after him, shouting his name again - I felt like something was up - and finally he turned around. "Is everything okay," I asked, to which he replied, "Yeah, everything's good," and I let him go so I could tend to the 40 kids in my room for a baseball pre-season meeting. I still wasn't convinced, though.

When I heard sirens a little bit later, I didn't make the connection. I should have. This morning, I learned that Leon, as well as several other kids I teach, had been suspended for fighting. And apparently it was an all-out brawl, with Leon and Darien getting into it and rolling around at the front of the school. Both of these kids are mine, and both are at risk - both appeared on the list of 17 kids who, after the first quarter, had failed four or more classes (the bottom 17 of the 300 ninth grade students at the school). I happen to like both of these kids a lot, have taken them under my wing a little bit. Both passed my course, and I think both are sweet - if a little playful - kids. Why were they fighting?

Well, Desean gave me the scoop after 5th period. Both are Bloods - I've heard Leon's older brother is one of the biggest Bloods in Baltimore, though I'm not sure - but Darien had been making statements that Leon didn't belong anymore, and Leon wanted to confront him about it. Text messages rang through the school, and the fight between two became a brawl, and I know of at least five kids who were in the middle of it that I teach. All 9th graders. 9th graders in gangs.

Today, as I told my 10th period, the class with Darien in it (though suspended now), my heart hurt. Maybe I could have stopped Leon, if I would have followed my instincts. These kids need so much help, and I just can't give it to them, and missed a prime time to give them some on Wednesday.

behind

Going away to the baseball coaching conference over the weekend and coming back and watching an entire season of The Wire has put me behind in my grading, and now grades are due tomorrow and I still have a lot to do. But I'm not stressed out about it. Oddly not stressed out, in fact. I'll get it done, and, if I don't, I'll get it done by the time the grade correction forms are due.

See, there are too many other things going on right now: planning new units and major assignment schedule dates, reading about Heath Ledger dying (that sucks! what a good actor!), getting baseball season ready (checked out this new batting cage up on Bel-Air Rd and Rossville Blvd today... it was great, they were much nicer than those Timonium folks.... the pre-season meeting with the guys is tomorrow), and being depressed about politics.

I think I'm going to show Dead Man Walking tomorrow to set up A Lesson Before Dying. That will give me some breathing room while also getting the kids set up for the text.

Season 4

I finished Season 3 and loved it. One of the questions I have is this, though: Why didn't the Major (the one who created Hamsterdam) tell McNulty that Stringer was the leak?

I started Season 4 today (I was worried I'd burn out on The Wire, so watched my Netflixed Breach and Away From Her last night while grading), and can already tell it's going to really affect me. Seeing that group of kids play - they all look like the average Baltimore teenager sitting in my classes - just puts a lump in my throat, partially because I know enough about season 4 that I know there's some tragedy, but partially because it's a reminder that a 14-year old kid really is just 14. Just like Wallace's death in season 1.

Seeing Prez's orientation into being a Baltimore City teacher is also telling. I especially loved the scene where a cheery North Avenue-type was telling the teachers about some acronym ("I.A.W.A.C" - "I Am Worth and Capable" - I think). I'm almost positive the character was modeled after this woman, who showered us with "brain kisses" and golf-claps as part of professional development during her tenure. I also loved the Assistant Principal, with her Balmer-accent, because she looks and sounds exactly like our dearly departed secretary. And, lastly, the character of Snoop is nearly impossible not to like. I'm going to have to resist the urge to nickname one of my female students that moniker, even though I'm sure she'd love it.

***

I put a political post up yesterday, but it was completely un-insightful and depressing, so I took it down. Damn Hillary Clinton and her sneaky campaigning, that's all. Do yourself a favor and read Obama's speech today: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/01/the-ebenezer-se.html

Wow. That's why he's different.

The end of the string

I've spent the entire day watching the 3rd season of The Wire. Despite knowing it was going to happen all along, the ending of the 2nd-to-last episode still conked me over.

How will they wrap this up?

Yes go, actually

I ended up going to the conference, spending several hundred dollars on the conference fee and equipment (a discontinued bat, some batting gloves in my school colors, a couple of funky pieces of equipment that I think will work well, some DVDs, a book, Ripken's new training bat at a special conference price), but getting pretty damn excited about the upcoming season. The conference actually wasn't that great - the organization of it was disappointing - but the vendors were cool and at least a couple speakers were decent. I decided to save a bit of money on the hotel and leave a night early, and it's great to be back early. I'm on episode 3 of season 3 of The Wire and hope to get through a couple more tonight before the exhaustion of sitting through umpteen sessions and driving back from Philadelphia in the dark conks me out.

Next weekend, I'm heading to a Ripken Coaches Clinic. They're always good. And it's free.

No go

I believe the huge amount of snow that we've gotten in the last three hours is killing my desire/ability to go to Philadelphia/Cherry Hill tonight for the Baseball Coaching conference. It's been a strange plan from the get-go, starting with me always getting the weekend mixed up, but was pretty excited. Since I almost got in an accident on the way home, I don't think I'd better do the trip.

Unless I get brave.

Baseball season approaching

I approach the new baseball season with a little bit of trepidation. Last season was the best of times and the worst of times. We made it deep into the playoffs last year, farther than our city school had made it into the state playoffs in several years (a decade plus), and the kids I had coached since I started had become 4th year seniors on the varsity team. They had become stars, some of the best players in the city, and that was wonderful to see. The victory over the school that always beats us - in the 2nd round of the playoffs - was a highlight that I'll remember forever.

On the other hand, all the kids I coached from the first year on have graduated - 13 in all - and the best remaining player doesn't much like me at all. He walked off the field once during practice last year, and that was rectified, then he and I ended the last game of the season in a skirmish over a sign he claimed I gave him but I swear on my grandmother's grave that I didn't. I like this kid a lot, but the feeling is not mutual; I'm pretty sure he's gone to the principal about replacing me.

And, loyal readers of this blog will know that last season had its share of drama, and drama is almost always bad, and it certainly was here. My memories of the 2007 season will consist of the last year of KB, BK, DR, and JT, but also will consist of the mother who wanted my head on a platter, and of the discontented guys at the end of the bench.

So, the new season approaches with a lot of dissonance. But I feel like it's gone, already. One of my assistant coaches, a guy I've known for 5 years or more, met with me today, with enthusiasm that can only be contagious. This guy is a fixture on the NE Baltimore baseball scene, and I feel so lucky to have his expertise, and his enthusiasm, and the new season is now approaching like a light instead of a question mark. And I'm excited. March 1 couldn't come more quickly. I'm heading to NJ soon for a big baseball coaching conference, and that'll further my excitement for the upcoming year, I'm sure.

Midterms, name-calling, and fights in the hallway

Sometimes I think I'm too thin-skinned to be a teacher. I need to remember that there are much worse things in life than to be called "SuperFag."

The other highlight of the day was a near-fight between a very androgynous 9th grader (so out and proud that another teacher saw her smooching with her girlfriend in the hallway and was shocked after she walked away and she realized she was a female) and a troubled, but usually sweet, other 9th grader, this one male. At 12:35, still in the midst of my final, I heard screaming out in the hallway; one of my judgement-starved colleagues let the kids out early from another exam, and the kids were wandering and finding trouble. The boy was telling her something along the lines of, "I'm not going to hit you, you're a girl." She was screaming back at him, "No, hit me, hit me, if you're going to talk, hit me." And he was saying back to her, "You might think you're a N_______, but you're not a N_________, you're just a girl, and I'm not going to hit you." Whereas she replied and got closer into his face, "Naw, naw, you better fucking watch your back, and finish what you start." To which he replied, "You might think you're a N________ because we like the same thing but you're not a N_________ so I'm not going to hit you."

And I'm trying to break up the fight/shouting match and proctor my exam, and the class was already on my last nerve, and I drag the girl - who is gesticulating wildly and is revving for a fight - away, make her walk the other way, make sure the boy is gone, then try to rush back to my exam. The bell rings right before I get back to the room, making the classroom utter chaos when I return.

Both kids who were arguing are showing up at my room at 8:15 for their final. They're in the same class of mine. Should be fun. I've already referred them to Guidance, though I'm sure nothing is really going to happen during midterm week.

Not a great day. I have several very unpleasant students this year. There's a box on the report card for "Pleasure to Teach," and I often check it for almost every student. This year, I wish I had a box saying, "A complete displeasure to have in my classroom."

It's a night for music, nice and loud, and the song that is most doing it for me right now - among several other Lupe Fiasco compositions - is "Daydreamin'", featuring the amazing Jill Scott. This is an instant classic, hip-hop that is right up there with Kanye West's debut and The Low End Theory. I just get goosebumps every time:

Entertainment

Yesterday, I finally became sick and tired of the whine my television emits. I've had it since I was a freshman in college, making it nearly 13 years old. So, I went to Best Buy to see what's going on with TVs these days. It turns out you can either get a flat screen for $600 or more, or a tiny tube television for around $150-200. Since I don't even have cable, it certainly doesn't make sense for me to spend a lot on a television. I use it to watch network TV and DVDs. So, I went home, went on Craig's List, and bought a three-year old 27" flat screen tube television for $75 from some lady out in the county, who complained it was too big for her and that she was going with the flat screen. Then, I used the $50 gift certificate my parents got me for Target and bought a new DVD player. And, suddenly, I have a new entertainment center for $75. And it's nice. I can't believe how big Hillary Clinton's head looks right now on Meet the Press.

And now it's time for miniature reviews:

There Will Be Blood: Riveting. It's not Magnolia, but it is Paul Thomas Anderson's best film since that one. Daniel Day Lewis is incredible and will win an Oscar. Hopefully the film will be nominated as well, since it's far better than No Country For Old Men.

Juno: I saw it last weekend. What a cool little movie. Great lead performance. Excellent characters all around, and funny and sad in all the right places.

Lupe Fiasco's The Cool: It's alright, but just doesn't seem to have the urgency of Food and Liquor. It's the Tracy Chapman effect, also suffered by Kanye West and his three albums of slightly diminishing returns each time - you have 25 years to write your first album, and one year to write the follow-up. It's just not as good, at least on the first couple of listens.

Ani DiFranco Live From Carnegie Hall: I got it for Christmas. I think I might be beyond Ani DiFranco in my musical growth. This solo acoustic set just doesn't do too much for me, and her voice sounds terrible. I did love her re-recorded versions of "Shameless" and "Both Hands" from 2006, though, so maybe I still like her.

Short story reading

It's been kind of a neat week teaching. One of my weaknesses this year - I recognized it in around October - was a focus on covering content instead of enhancing skills of my 9th graders. I did a lot of assigning a lot of reading, and while I hit up some big skills while we were doing it, I think I sometimes focused too much on the content. I mean, we read the entire Odyssey. Not many 9th graders in this country do that. In fact, I was the only 9th grade teacher who did it; the other two just read excerpts from the boring Fitzgerald translation in the textbook.

I've been trying to pull myself away from this emphasis on content instead of skills, and think I did a good job of that with Fences, then the last week-and-a-half we did a short story unit that really worked well. We don't have enough textbooks for all the students, so we have to finish everything in class, which also adds some urgency to my teaching. But it's not tough. I've utilized audiotapes, which the kids love (despite complaining about them every time, they listen intently), or reading aloud, which the kids also love.

So we've read Eugenia Collier's "Marigolds," James Hurst's "The Scarlet Ibis," and Toni Cade Bambara's "Blue Ain't No Mockin Bird" in the last six days. Not only read them, but analyzed them, discussed them, and wrote about them. I was especially happy with the Bambara story today; it's such a cute, funny little story about an old lady and an old man doing whatever they can to hang onto their dignity and not get videotaped for a food stamps commercial. The kids totally got it, despite it having a different sort of rhythm than most of the stories we read.

It's been a good week...

Done with season 2

I'm now finally finished with Season 2 of The Wire. After my initial post last week claiming it was a comedown from season 1, I can agree now that it's not much of one. The season wrapped up so nicely, especially with that montage in the last scene, with Nick Sobovtka looking out over the water and then walking uphill away.

Frank Sobovtka was such a good character, sort of a tough Willie Loman, and the actor playing him was magnificent. Even Ziggy attained some redemption in my eyes.

The problem with watching The Wire so late is no one to talk to about it. I actually prefer to watch it on DVD, all at once, rather than week by week, but miss the water cooler nature of watching a good TV show as it airs. I walked into school last week still clamoring with the news in my head that D'Angelo - probably my favorite character from season 1 - had been killed, and everyone was pretty non-plussed. After all, it happened years ago. But, damn. I even knew it was coming, from accidentally reading a Wikipedia entry, but was still blown away.

Now it's on to Season 3, which I think is somewhere in the house. I haven't seen it since I moved.

There are lies, there are damned lies, and there are statistics

According to a nationally published article praising the high school where I work, we have a 19.1:1 teacher:student ratio.

Even though I know numbers can be massaged sometimes, I have no idea how they can be massaged this much. My average class size this year is 34.5, and my largest class is 37. This is not unusual.

I'm not critiquing my school here. It's how things are done. I have no idea how the numbers are cooked - maybe secretaries in the office are counted as teachers, maybe Educational Aides for students with IEPs are counted - but they certainly do not reflect what is in the classrooms. And, wow, does it ever make me mad.

Dark in, dark out

In between Obama victories, my school life has been increasingly challenging. Nothing specific, just a general dissatisfaction with being so far behind in everything. I thought break would do it - God knows I spent whole days of it grading - but it's not. Our holiday break was too short, midterms are steamrolling ahead too quickly, and I'm way too far behind in grading.

I think I'm basically a good teacher - I work my butt off, I create pretty cool lessons and well-rounded and comprehensive unit plans, I'm really into literature, I genuinely care about the kids, I can scaffold well, I can be tough when needed and step back a little when not. My classroom management skills have somehow gotten worse as my career has progressed (maybe the average class increase of 25 to 35?), but otherwise I think I'm pretty good. So why is my job so much harder than it was five years ago? Is this just a function of having 175 students? Will I ever really get caught up? Is this how all teachers live? Leave at dark, come home at dark, still mountains of work to grade and a brilliant lesson to plan?

Screw it, I'm going to the gym. That'll put me in a good mood, and give me energy for the sixty papers that I absolutely have to finish tonight. I promised, and based tomorrow's lesson on it.

Luckily, another Obama victory looms tomorrow, when my mood should chirp right up again.

Obamamania in a Baltimore high school

Friday was a day of excitement. Overall, it's been a bad week for me - returning too early from vacation, car troubles, complete lack of sleep - but the Obama victory bouyed me and had me walking on cloud nine for much of the end of the week. My colleague and I wore our Obama t-shirts to school (it was dress-down Friday), and I tried to tell all my classes about the history that they are living in right now.

Most knew about Obama's victory, though unfortunately a few had never heard of him. Most were also excited. One thing Andrew Sullivan has been talking about is about black people in this race, and how now that Obama is getting some traction and success, they might become energized and really turn out for this election. Especially seeing that 92% white Iowa - of all places - can look at a candidate and see beyond race and vote for him because he's the best candidate.

My black colleague and good friend told me, "It's almost like I'm starting to feel like this is my country, too. Like this will allow one more lynching victim's soul to rest." For me, though - and I told her this - it doesn't matter that he's black. In fact, heck, I see his midwest Kansas background making him just as much part of my fabric than anyone else's (we haven't had a Presidential candidate from the midwest since before I was born, and haven't elected one since Truman). But that doesn't matter, either. It's that he's the the one who will unite us, lead by conviction, and fix education. He makes me proud to be in an American.

The kids have some interesting takes on it. Now, granted, I teach mostly 9th graders, but I received three questions today about whether Mr. Obama would legalize marijuana. Because he's black. And several kids who thought he would be assassinated, that the country would never allow Obama to actually become President. It's all about cultural self-esteem, and most of these kids don't have it - comments like "well, black people don't like to read" as an excuse for not completing their reading or "that is so ghetto" pop up fairly often from the students, and it's a disappointing reminder that many of these students have no one they can look up to. A national leader would be that, though.

Most of the students were excited, and several were curious that me - presumably because I'm a white man - would be a supporter of Obama. I took the opportunity to tell them a little bit about the primary process before we got back into reading "Marigolds." Hopefully at least a few of them will turn on a news a few times in the next couple of weeks to chart the progress.

He's up 10 points in New Hampshire, by the way. I'm just about ready to declare that it's an Obama juggernaut. It seems like destiny or something. (Though last time I proclaimed that was the Detroit Tigers World Series hopes in 2006, and we all know what happened then.)

America, our moment is now

I'm just amazed. And very, very hopeful. If Obama can win Iowa, this country might just be on the right track.

I love the stuff that Andrew Sullivan is saying.

"The whining schoolboy, with his satchel / And shining morning face, creeping like a snail / Unwillingly to school"

I started off the day today by walking into the gym a few minutes before 6am, and having a great workout. Then I got to school, and the day was, eh, okay. I generally don't believe in giving work over a holiday break - kids have worked hard and they've earned it, for the most part - and stayed true to it this year, giving only some extra credit. Still, kids today balked at doing the work in class. "Dag, why you always giving us work?" one kid asked, with seemingly a straight face despite the two-week break he had just had.

Also, I somehow did not finish all the papers I took home to grade. I tried my best, but Jan. 1 was a loss for me. I made some good money working New Years Eve, but didn't get home and to sleep until after 4am, and that pretty much killed New Years Day for me. I really spent so much of break grading these papers, and I hated facing the class today without them all being done. My mistake was grading by writing folder instead of by assignment. Therefore, I had about 28 of 37 students finished with all four of their essays, and the remaining 9 kids were untouched. It sucks. I really just wanted a fresh start. Each kid probably takes an hour to get through and it was just impossible, I guess.

Kids and teachers were pretty whiny today. I'm still in a little bit of shock that we're back already. I wish I taught in a district that closed schools until Jan. 7, like all the schools in Michigan. 2008 is just beginning too quickly for me.

After I got out of the school at 5pm, I reported to duty at the restaurant at around 5:15. I had three tables all night and made $30. People just don't go out to eat on the day after New Years. It made for a horribly long day: wake up at 5am, work out from 6-7:30, make copies from 7:40-8:00, teach from 8:00-3:10, plan and grade from 3:10-5:00, and wait tables from 5:15-11:00.

I wonder if I'll make it up for the gym in the morning tomorrow...

I'll be crossing my fingers for Barack most of the day though.

Also, it's looking to be a pretty crazy month ahead for Baltimore City Public Schools.

New Year

I was buoyed by some comments left on the entry a couple weeks back, and it was good to take a couple of weeks off, and now I think I've found at least a temporary solution for my blogging problem: I've started another blog, one for my whiny personal stories, and if I get the urge to spread too-personal of details all over the internet, I'll do it over there. Otherwise, I just like this too much, so I'll stick with it. And maybe even try to be better.

In the past at New Years, I have taken to writing a long drawn-out entry reflecting on the previous year and thinking about what I want to accomplish in the new year. I'm not going to do that this year. It's going to be short and sweet.

2007 Retrospective: It mostly was kind of a crummy year. I struggled professionally and personally. I was far too busy and the fruits of my labors were far too hidden. I lost track of friends and didn't make enough new ones. I had little interest in dating because nothing in my life seemed to be going how I had planned. I was too hard on myself. But I can still dig out some good things: I finally moved out of the place where I lived way too long, and the move has been good. I went to Costa Rica for a week. I coached a city baseball team to the 3rd round of the state playoffs. I learned a lot of the ins and outs of teaching IB and think I do pretty well with the course now, or at least know pretty well what IB is looking for. I turned 30 and had a great celebration reminding me that I do have a lot of really good friends. And I took three graduate courses, putting me just one course away from a Master's degree.

2008 Goals: I really need to get in shape, big time. I work out often, but I think I need to really increase the intensity of my workouts. Stop trying to read during them. Listen to music, Car Talk, and This American Life on the Nano. I also just want to be more consistent as a teacher. Off days need to be a thing of the past. Focus more on daily objectives; the big picture is there, but the smaller pictures sometimes need more examination. And sure up that classroom management, which either has gotten looser or the kids have gotten more talkative. Finish the Master's Degree and get the $6,000 raise. I also look forward to having a great year coaching, and need to make sure I'm very well planned for it.

That's it. I can't believe we go back tomorrow. In Michigan, all the schools go back on the 7th.

Politics

I'm finding myself more into politics this time around than ever before. This is the first election in my lifetime - in fact, I think it's the first in half a century - without an incumbent or vice president running for president, and it's pretty exciting. I really think the next President could be decided on Thursday. While it's disappointing the way our country works it, with Iowa and New Hampshire getting so much influence, it's still fascinating to watch.

I'm also excited because, for the first time ever, I support a politician I really believe in. I had huge qualms about Gore v. 2000, about John Kerry, about Bill Clinton. Not yet do I have them for Barack Obama. It's not that I agree with everything that he says, but I definitely believe him and think the decisions he makes comes from a principled, intelligent place. My opinions have not changed much in the last few months. I've read and listened like crazy, and I still support Barack Obama unequivocally. I'm getting really excited about the possibility that he might take Iowa and use it as a springboard to do well all around the country.

Edwards excites me less, but he has impressed me much more this time around than in 2004. I still think he's a lightweight, but at least he's a principled, intelligent one. I'll never get over the fact that he voted to authorize the war, though, and don't quite trust his impressive veer to the left. Still, national polls have him beating Republican challengers by a larger margin than either Clinton or Obama (probably a result of the white male privelage he's got going for him, but it's still significant).

Richardson remains my 3rd choice. I think he's got a good chance of being the Vice Presidential candidate. Wesley Clark also has a good chance, especially if Clinton is the nominee.

I still feel the same way about Hillary Clinton: I think she's be an okay President - she's smart, can work across the aisle - but I hope she's not the nominee for two reason. First, she would give the Republicans someone to unite against. People really do hate her (a trip back to southwest Michigan reminded me of this... my mom doesn't even like her), and, right now, the Republican side seems totally ununited, but a HRC candidacy could unite them against something. Secondly, I just think she's too much of a politician - saying what the polls want her to say, instead of saying what's in her gut. I was not a huge fan of the Bill Clinton presidency and a HRC Presidency would just continue the horrible Clinton/Bush II political squabbles of the past sixteen years. That being said, I think she'll run a better campaign than either Gore or Kerry did, and might even make a better President than either (at least Gore version 2000).

Anyhow, I'll be glued to the polls throughout tomorrow, and hopefully Obama can pull it out. If he does, I expect him to be the next President. If Clinton wins, I think she'll be the next President. As for Edwards, I think it's up in the air still.