Coaches curse

We lost both ends of a doubleheader today, giving us our first two losses of the year.

The game sucked, and some of the kids' attitudes sucked. I cursed at a kid, in fact, telling a particularly lazy kid to go get the fucking foul ball. Afterwards, the mother approached me in the parking lot, cursed me out, and expected me - apparently - to apologize. I'm not sure why a 17-year old kid gets his mother to do his talking for him, but I'm certainly disappointed in the way he conducted himself. The whole situation is coming to a head tomorrow, when I'm expecting another confrontation.

Sometimes, coaches curse. Will I apologize if I hurt his feelings? Yup. Will I ever do it again? I'm sure I will.

I hate to say it, but it's been a rough year and I'm ready for it to finish. A 7-2 record is great and all, but I'm tired, cranky, unhealthy, and my 9th period barely knows who I am anymore.

The weekend

Friday: Spent the night at Molly's Public House, which also, sadly, was only my first time there (and, because this was the last night it was open, it will also be my last). What a great night - $2 pints of Resurrection and the ability to play anyone I freaking wanted to (Mary Lou Lord, Harry Chapin, Dan Bern, Tracy Chapman) on their awesome internet jukebox. Admittedly, I did overdo it a little bit - the week was darn long - but it was worth it.

Saturday: Waited tables. It was a decent night, as I left with $120 and a good mood.

Sunday: Washed and cleaned my car. Watched the Tigers game. Worked out. Drove a friend to the airport. Enjoyed the weather. Wrote nearly an entire unit plan for In Cold Blood. Chilled.

Happy 81st Birthday, Harper Lee!

"It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived."

Born April 28, 1926.

Booked solid

The Elephant Vanishes is backordered, meaning it won't be in until the middle of April, meaning that my plan for the next two weeks is totally shot. I can, however, just switch In Cold Blood and The Elephant Vanishes in my curriculum. I just have to read all of In Cold Blood and create a bang-up unit for it in the next two days.

I have read the book before, and started re-reading it last week in preparation to teach it by the middle of the month. It's just as good as I remember it. Still, to read the whole thing and have a great unit planned out by Monday? Not cold bloody likely.

This is when I wish that I taught slightly more standard texts, so I could just order a unit plan online or something. This also happens to be the first time I've ever taught non-fiction.

Nah. I can do this. We'll textmark for whenever Capote "enters" the story - whenever he seems to be being novelistic instead of journalistic. I think.

Finals begin on June 4th. I need to finish both books by then.

I'm off to Molly's for Happy Hour.

Nope, still not Friday

It's kind of been a hard week to be a teacher at my school. Without getting into too many details, a lot of conflict exists right now between faculty and administration. Our union reps had a meeting earlier this week, and the minutes from the meeting have been passed around the school. They're not nice. The less than fond feelings that the teachers hold for the administration seem to be shared the other way, too. We were called "lazy."

Seniors have just a few weeks left before graduation, and the bad ones are going nuts this week. A rug was doused with gasoline. Several fires were set. The response one day was to lock every bathroom door and not allow teachers to write any passes at all. That did seem to clear the halls, but today, it was back to the normal state of kids wandering.

We had drills today and yesterday in response to the Virginia Tech shooting. Yesterday, it was a lockdown drill, where we had to lock our classroom doors (or, at least, those of us with locking classroom doors), and get away from the windows. Today, the fire alarms went off, and we waited, like we always do, because they go off on accident all the time. The announcement came on saying, "This is not a drill, please evacuate the building," and we did. We were out there for twenty minutes, and when we returned, the announcement stated that it actually was a drill, and it was something done in response to the V. Tech shootings.

Meanwhile, the central office is throwing a bunch of other dumb shit on our laps to do, stuff that is against anyone's philosophy of education except, perhaps, No Child Left Behind's.

I don't mean to be negative. I've had some great moments this week in the classroom. Sophomores making me proud with their passage analysis skills with Their Eyes Were Watching God. Some great presentations on Song of Solomon, including at least a couple that gave me goosebumps. But... I'm still looking forward to the weekend.

Tomorrow is parent-teacher conferences. And a baseball game to coach. Then, hopefully, a Happy Hour somewhere with my name on it.

Is it Friday yet?

It's been a rotten week, salvaged only by a baseball practice just now in which I was able to throw two hours straight of batting practice. I will be sore tomorrow, but at least heaving several hundred baseballs at my players is a good stress reliever.

Why has the week been rotten? I'm not sure. It's just one of those weeks where the minor conflicts and workload associated with teaching is especially difficult to bear. I had a huge case of the crankies today, and it wasn't until baseball practice that my mind was cleared of it. This is why baseball is a good thing for me. Even though the time commitment is incredible, the stress relief is something I count on to bring me through to through the middle of May.

Our undefeated season will almost certainly remain so through the end of the week. We are playing two teams that we mercy-defeated by scored of 22-3 and 33-1 earlier in the season. However, on Monday, we play the #1 team in the city in a doubleheader and, on Wednesday, we play our chief rival (who seem like they might end their eight-year run of consecutive city championships this year after a couple of key losses). Three games in three games, and my star pitcher can't pitch all three of them, so it will be an interesting week. We're a good team, but it's also that time of year when the team is competing with proms, closely approaching graduation, and even a little ennui.

Last week, I had one of my favorite players quit. He's a sophomore on a varsity team, a kid I kept because I thought he was a talented athlete who I could be able to groom as a catcher for next year. I was right on the first point. After four games, he'd gotten into three of them to get an inning or two of garbage time. In our last game, he was a pinch-runner in a very tight spot and ended up getting picked off. The next day, he missed practice without warning. The day after that, his dad called me, asking about playing time. Now, it was after four games, so I'm not sure how anyone can really complain about playing time just yet, but I'd never met the father before so I was polite with him. I told him that J would get his time, but that this is a learning year for him and he shouldn't expect to be starting as a sophomore over my team captain and senior, one of the best catchers in the city. I told him that I was a big fan of the kid's - this is why I kept him on the team, why I've taken him and another sophomore under my wing (I took him to Sports Authority and bought him his first cup, I took he and another player out to Chili's for dinner because it was so late, I give him rides home all the time). The father cut me off, said there were other teams that wanted him to play, and said, "Coach, if you're not going to let my son show you what he can do, I'm going to pull him from the team." I then told him that if he quit two weeks before the end of the year, then that would certainly affect his status as a player on my team in the next year and the year after, and that it was very disappointing to hear that he would consider quitting the team at this juncture after four games. The father ended up threatening to go to my principal if quitting the team would mean he couldn't try out next year, and I said that was fine, and then he hung up on me. The kid has never come to me about this, but he hasn't shown up for a practice or a game since then, so now I can assume that he has officially quit. It bugs the crap out of me because I really liked the kid, and he is a talented athlete, but this means I certainly can't have him on the team next year or possibly the year after. In addition, it bugs me because I really read this kid's character wrong. I can at least point to the fact that his dad is an asshole and that's probably why the kid is, but - sheesh - it's a huge disappointment, especially when he barely made the team and I've got some really great kids slumming it on the JV team that could have had his spot.

As for class, it's just been a hard week to teach. Today was the first day without a fire set in the bathroom since last Wednesday, and the way they prevented any fires was by locking every single student bathroom in the school, except for our general adult guest bathroom near the main office. I guess that is one solution, but it certainly was not very convenient for me, when I had to go to the bathroom, nor if I wanted students to be able to go quickly to the bathroom without making a big production of it. Today, however, we did have drinking water in the building, so that's a plus. Yesterday, I've never been more tempted to drink the lead-infested water out of the sinks; I was so thirsty that my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I ended up just splashing the lead water on the face, and pretending that this was actually quenching my extreme thirst.

Summer plans

Today was much better than yesterday. I worked just a scant five hours, made about $40, and was able to secure next Saturday day (I work PM) and the whole next Sunday off. Then, I ran some errands, had a great workout at the gym, and headed home for The Simpsons.

I also decided to schedule my 2007 summer Towson courses. Unfortunately, they seem to be offering only one of the four courses I need to complete my MAT in the summer. This is annoying as all hell, and I'm not sure if there's any chance of them changing their minds and offering more. If this is the case, and I can only take one class, it totally changes how my summer this year might be shaping up. In fact, the one course I do want to take seems to be offered either in a one-week spurt from 9am-4pm in mid-July, or in a two-week spurt in four-hour seminars during the same time period. I could, theoretically, take that one in the summer, and take three in the fall semester (I checked, they're all available), and be done with the MAT, but I was hoping to do it the other way around (three in the summer, one in the fall), or even get the whole thing finished in the summer, making me eligible for my $7,000 raise next year.

But it doesn't look like that will happen, which will make my fall a very busy time. Probably better than trying to take a class while coaching, though. It will, unfortunately, probably eliminate my chance to go for National Board Certification next year, but I haven't heard much about that lately anyway, and my excitement for it has waned as I've tried to get used to curriculum in two new courses this year anyway.

If it's true that I can only take one class this summer, I might - gasp - teach summer school this summer. It was a good gig when I taught it a couple of years ago, and it will be nice not worrying about making it through the summer financially. Still, a break would be so nice, especially considering how this has been probably my toughest year of teaching yet.

Short cuts

After my last whiny post, I feel the need to post some updates:

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William's brain tumor surgery with this famous doctor was a success. He's resting at home and, while he sleeps a lot, he is progressing. He won't be back this year, but I look forward to seeing his little old man act next year.

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The baseball team is undefeated at 6-0, and this year represents the first legitimate shot at the city championship. The next two weeks will be very interesting. While I have several talented players and a deep team, a lot of our success is riding on the shoulders of one very talented kid, who is our best pitcher and arguably our best hitter.

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I have no idea how it took me so long to visit Caesar's Forum on Fleet St to get my hair cut. I'm really cheap about certain things, especially getting my hair cut, but before Costa Rica, I decided to splurge on an $18 cut at Caesar's. I had heard they served beer and stuff while they cut your hair, but had no idea that it was included in the cost of the cut! She cut my hair and did a great job. No more home clippers for me! At least for a while!

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Reading and teaching lately: I re-read Song of Solomon over spring break and am in the midst of finishing it up with my students. What a great teach (accessible, literary, a page turner)! I'm set to begin The Elephant Vanishes next week, which I also re-read over break to prepare for teaching it. Somehow, I also have to complete In Cold Blood with my students. I've got to rush!

****

If you read the transactions page today of the sports section, you get a glimpse of what is wrong with the Orioles. If you talk to any local, they will tell you that it's almost all about the owner. While this might be true - a bigger budget would certainly increase the margin for error that this team makes - the main problem with the team is its horrible personnel moves. In the off-season, the O's signed Jay Payton, a horribly everyday major league corner outfielder whose only good season and a half were done in the cozy confines of Colorado. Good teams know that it is only bad teams that pay average players average salaries. They especially know that it is only bad teams that pay below-average players average salaries. And that's what the Orioles did in the off-season. Why is this a bad move? Well, the Orioles provided us with the other alternative right in the same transaction; average players can be acquired for the league minimum, and often they can perform just as good as those established veterans. In the O's case, it was John Knott, who came in and hit .750 in 4 at-bats, with a game-winning home run. Knott is a 28-year old minor league veteran with a good track record, who has never gotten his chance to prove what he can do in the majors. Payton is a 34-year old veteran who pretty much has proven what he is - a singles-hitting corner outfielder who, except for his tenure in Colorado, has pretty much sucked or been mediocre for his ten-year career. The O's paid him $4.5 million this off-season, and they could have paid John Knott $300,000.


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Everyone is horribly saddened the Virginia Tech Massacre, and I'm sure as everyone read about it, they had their own way of connecting to it. Since I was an RA throughout much of college, the victim I initially most connected with was Ryan Clark, the RA who responded to a disturbance on his floor and was killed.

Later, however, I learned that one of the victims was a guy I've communicated with for several years on one of the Detroit Tigers message boards I frequent. In all of my interactions with Brian Bluhm, he seemed like such a genuine, decent nice guy in a forum where sometimes people can get nasty. A diehard Tigers fan, I only knew him by his moniker (until that day), but reading his memorial page on the site, which chronicles the first uncertain "Is it him?" questions to the horrible feeling of certainness, really tore me up. You can see the forum's memorial page here. I did not need this extra connection and additional shrinking of the world to make this tragedy more real for me, but it certainly did. He was such a Tiger fan that the Tigers had a moment of silence at Comerica Park for him, and that Curtis Granderson wrote about him in his blog. Somehow, Granderson's blog entry just made me tear up - he answered one of Brian's questions that was previously passed over during one of the Q&A as a tribute to him. What a class act he is. He's been my favorite major league player for over a year now, and now I'm certain why.

This blog turned 7 years old this week

We finally have Internet service back at the house, as of last night.

April 2007 almost went entirely unchronicled on this journal, and this is something of a bummer. It's not that I'm going to be thumbing through the pages of my blog on my deathbed or anything, but I do like going back every now and then, and enjoy the record-keeping that this blog provides for me. For example, just two days ago, this blog celebrated its 7th anniversary - longer than I've ever stayed consecutively in one city, longer than I've ever kept a job, certainly longer than I've ever had a relationship. Here is my thrilling first entry, back on April 18, 2000. While I wasn't one of the first bloggers on the internet, I bet I've got some longetivity points somewhere.

On this Saturday night - a night in which I eschewed a beautiful night at Camden Yards with friends in favor of much-needed rest and health - I find myself just on the other side of a crossroads, but seeing others approaching soon on the horizon. I just moved out of the house where I spent nearly six full years. I've gone from having an entire three floors to myself, to having two small rooms, and have consilidated ten metric tons of junk to about one ton. I'm trying my best to live like my alma mater's mascot, as a Spartan, but my attempts at that seem laughable when I try to describe it. It's not like I'm living with a bed and computer and that's it. But I've been able to consolidate my things into two rooms, and that's a turning point to me.

Getting rid of my junk - along with my recent cleansing trip to Costa Rica - has been a good thing, a symbol of upheaval that I hope continues. Someone left a comment on this blog several months ago with a quote from "The History Boys," saying, "I'm not happy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy about it," and, while I'm paraphrasing the quote, it's been on my mind periodically throughout the last year, whether I'm living in some sort of stupefied "Is this all there is?" daze. I know that I'm not fulfilling my maximum potential for contentment, and too much of this year has been living day by day. The move, the trips to the dump, and the vacation were steps in the right direction.

However, last week had to be one of the most challenging weeks of my educational career. I'm sure much of it had to do with returning from spring break, where I spent a week in tropical Costa Rica, which has a two-hour time difference from Baltimore. But my plate is simply too full at this point in the year: rescuing an Outward Bound trip from the jaws of cancellation, then pulling together the kids to go; coaching the baseball team in an especially challenging but exhilariating season (we're undefeated, but that included two one-run victories this week). I did not set the fire in the boys bathroom on Wednesday that put us outside during the entirety of 8th period, but, since that was my only break of the week, I didn't mind it much.

And, today, I worked from 8am until 5:15pm, and made $10. It was my first shift at the second job in two weeks, and I could not have asked for a worse return. I worked with the bitchy British girl I once made out with in a moment of drunken weakness, who just came back on staff. It was good to see her at first, but then she went into a cleaning spree and called me lazy for not being excited to join her. Bitch, I've already worked 70 hours this week and there are still two days to go; I don't need to do any extra work at a job that will give me ten bucks today.

So am I reverting to my post-vacation life of listless non-stop working again? It looks like it. I need a job for the summer, but maybe I can do better than this particular restaurant gig. Today wasn't fun and tomorrow's brunch shift doesn't seem like it'll be much better. Flexibility and a laidback atmosphere are great and all, but so is change. Or maybe this mood is a result of the sum of the parts, and not one of the parts.

Either way, I'm chilling out tonight.

Now I'm back... from outer space...

I'm back from Costa Rica. After zipping through the rain forests on cables and pulleys, the rest of the vacation was much needed relaxation: hanging out with the iguanas on the Pacific Ocean, watching the sun set over the rocks off the coast, and lots of drinks involving bananas.

The trip home was long, but I survived. The Miami Airport is probably the worst I've ever visited; getting through customs, back through security (?), and onto the connecting flight took nearly two hours, cutting off dinner. But it's good to be home now, for this one day of running errands (still haven't done my taxes...) and getting ready for tomorrow.

Unfortunately, last night I discovered that - the annoyance of all annoyances - the internet is still not working at home. I held in my complete disappointment in this matter (it's now been nearly a month, and I'm definitely pissed off), and today I grudgingly sit in the library, and wonder how I'm going to get my lesson plans to myself at school tomorrow with no way to e-mail them to myself and no way to transport files otherwise. Not having the internet makes my life at least 50% harder, and there's a line for computers here at the library now, so there goes that idea. Ugh.

But vacation was great!

No idea when I'll be able to blog again...

Pura Vida

Costa Rica is beautiful.

The best thing so far occurred right at the airport, when a friend - who, after initially saying she was going, had to back out - was there waiting for us. She had planned a two-month joke for me, and I was so shocked and happy that I couldn't speak. In fact, when I turned the corner and she was there, I nearly had a heart attack. For someone to plan a two-month joke involving hundreds of miles and dollars, well, that's pretty awesome. I'm a big prankster, and I love that someone put so much effort into getting me on one. My friends love me, they really do.

So now it's three of us, visiting a fourth, and, tomorrow, meeting up with another colleague and her husband (a former colleague). So far, we've seen a volcano erupt on a beautiful clear night in the rainforest, seeing its hot pink lava sputter down like fireworks. Then, we spent a couple hours in a hot spring bar, sipping on banana colados while sitting on a bar in hot water. Yesterday, it was off to denser rain forest, where we spent hours ziplining like Tarzan across the trees. Today, we're off to the beach, where I look forward to lots of sitting in the sun, reading, hanging out with monkeys, and swimming.

Lots of photos are upcoming.

The Brief Return

Only a couple days after I moved in, my roommate's internet services were turned off. The wireless was in the former roommate's name, and she had moved out, so eventually it was turned off - and we have to wait for ten days before it's sent to collections and it's turned back on. That's why I've been away from the computer. This site is (for the best) locked at school, as are most of the sites I seem to need these days. I've been able to get comments, but unable to respond, and it's only now that I've been able to get away to a library to get some internet type of errands done.

I've missed blogging. Just yesterday, I was talking about a line in Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God with my sophomores: "Janie, full of that oldest human longing - self revelation" and came to realize how much I did miss these missives to the internet. At the same time, it's no secret that scrolling through the archives reveals much better blogging/writing in the past (especially back when I called it journaling) than I've produced lately, so perhaps a break every now and then isn't a bad idea.

Indeed, I've also been incredibly busy lately - coaching every day until 6:30, rides home until 8 or so, finishing my grades, getting the classroom cleaned up for spring break, moving, unpacking, continuing to clean the old place, trying to get all the errands done that I need to do - so time away from the internet helped in those manners. Plus, I found myself actually sitting down and watching TV on occasion, especially during a memorable Thursday night last week in which I watched an entire marathon of The Office on NBC and fell in love with the show.

I leave for Costa Rica on Easter Sunday, so this could very well be my last update until April 15 or so, when I return.

William's surgery is probably occurring as I type this. It was set for Friday morning. Continued good thoughts and prayers to him, please.