Spinning class

I took Spinning class last night.

It was the fourth time in my life. I'm guessing the first one was in around 1999, when I was first trying to be healthy. I had worked out at Gold's Gym for a couple of months, and decided to take it to the next level. Woah, was it ever. I could barely walk for two days, and I'm not even exaggerating.

The second time was with my friend Erin. I remember quitting early to "get water" but taking extra long to get back. I might even have quit in the middle of it; I don't remember for sure.

The third time was several years later, when I happened to be at Bally's when the class was starting. I jumped on a bike and remembered why it was such a good workout. A tall eastern European chick with 0% body fat told us to imagine we were biking on a mountain and being chased by a dog, and I loved every minute of it.

Still, it's tough for me to make these classes. They schedule them for 5:30 or 6:30 in the afternoon, which is generally too early for me to get to the gym. Today, however, I left school earlier than usual because Thursday and Friday are professional development days and I had no lesson planning to do. I left at around 4:30, and, after giving some kids a ride to Mondawmin and battling some horrible rush hour traffic, I ended up walking into Bally's at around 6:15. I was pleasantly surprised to see a class starting at 6:30, adn decided to sign up.

Woah, what a workout. Three guys, five girls, and an instructor who loved to yell into her microphone at us. "HARDER! HARDER! HARDER!", she screamed, and we peddled harder, running up imaginary mountains and racing across imaginary beaches and skiing down imaginary ski slopes in Colorado.

It was an hour that really pushed me to the limit. Why don't I do that more often?

Today was 20 days in a row to the gym, by the way. I'm feeling good.

"Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal -- fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed,"

It hasn't been a good six months for ballsy liberals from Texas. First Ann Richards. And now Molly Ivins is gone.

An important voice silenced. We need more like her.

These were her last words in her last column:

We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush's proposed surge. If you can, go to the peace march in Washington on Jan. 27. We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, "Stop it, now!"

The Queen and the King

I've been busy lately. I became rejuvenated with the gym on Thursday, Jan. 11, and I haven't missed a day since then. I guess that's almost three weeks straight now. I've been heading in the mornings to the Y, and most days I love it - it makes me feel like I've accomplished something even before the day begins. But other times, I have a hard time getting to bed at the 10 o'clock or so that I should be getting to bed in order to be healthy for that 4:45 alarm clock, and I pay for it later that day. When I don't go in the morning, I go after school, which invariably soaks up a couple of hours of time and leaves no time for anything else.

I don't have weight loss numbers, yet - it was five pounds as of Friday the 19th, the last time I stepped on the scale - but am feeling pretty certain that I will be The Big Loser contest winner at school. Not that it matters to me, really. I just try to live healthy each day and go with the flow that way. Soon, I'll be back down to my fighting weight.

I've also managed to head to the movies a couple of times in the last three days. On Sunday, I drove out to Owings Mills with a couple of colleagues to see The Last King of Scotland. Tonight, I saw The Queen with a Zenchick. Both are biopics that feature performances that will probably win Best Lead Acting at the Oscars, so of course I had to see them before the end of next month.

I found The Queen to be the better made of the two films, though less affecting than Last King of Scotland. The former is all about conflicts, mostly between the old and the new, and offers a pretty fascinating account of both the interactions between Tony Blair and the Queene along with a strangely unemotional family. And the performances are great. Still, I was a bit bored at times, and thought Blair's turnaround at the end came out from nowhere. It was meant to make The Queen a more sympathetic character, but it didn't quite do it for me; her arc wasn't quite full.

A good movie, to be sure, but the Best Picture nomination is a little mystifying. Perhaps part of it is my total lack of interest in the Royal Family for much of my life. Though it was still an interesting character study, I'm sure it would have been more interesting if I had known a bit more about the characters.

(Random note: August 30, 1997 - the date of Princess Diana's death - is notable in my life because it was the first night I was on duty as an RA in college.)

Similarly, The Last King of Scotland rests on the shoulders of a strong performance, and Forrest Whitaker certainly is amazing as Idi Amin. Still, this is not Hotel Rwanda - we get everything through the eyes of a cliched wide-eyed white Scottish doctor who at least eschews cliche a bit by being morally bankrupt himself. The horrors are touched upon more and more as the film proceeds, but we never get as much of a sense of Amin's destructions as my colleagues and I had expected. The film was suitably beautiful, though a bit of the camera work is off-putting. Another good film, not a great one - I had more emotionally invested in this film than The Queen, but it wasn't quite as tight.

So that leaves just a few more movies I hope to see before Oscar night - Letters From Iwo Jima, Venus, Half Nelson, Volver. So far, I put The Queen squarely behind the other three Best Picture nominees I've seen, and can't wait to cross another off my list.

Weekend warrior

I'm officially very tired, and at one of those points in my busy life when the busy-ness has gotten out of hand. I recently came to the epiphany that my only days off in 2007 have been New Year's Day and Martin Luther King Day. Otherwise, I've worked every day at either school or the restaurant, sometimes both. I'm going to ask for a day off next weekend. I'd be happy with even some hours of daylight off. In the owner's helpful desire to give me some weekend nights off, he's ended up having me work several weekend days in a row, meaning I haven't had an hour of daylight off in a few weeks.

I'm enjoying my time at the restaurant when I'm there, though. I made $100 today, after tipout, and was pleasantly busy much of the 8-5 shift - never in the weeds, always with 1-2 tables at a time. My favorite table was a black single mother who brought her five kids in with her at around 3 o'clock, when the restaurant was mostly empty. We don't get many kids in our restaurant, and don't get many black people either (the Fell's Point area we're in isn't very black, and the Eastern European cuisine attracts more white clientele), so it was a nice little surprise. I dug out the rarely-used children's menus, and treated the cute, funny kids (one kept raising his hand when he had a question) - who ranged in age from kindergarten to 9th grade - to several refills of hot chocolate while they waited for their chicken fingers and grilled cheese sandwiches. They were all so sweet and funny that it was a pleasure to wait on them, and, at $98, the table provided my biggest check and biggest tip of the day.

Now, I'm just too tired to do anything, though. Having a Saturday night off means nothing if you don't even have the energy to go to the movies. Part of it is probably last night, though. My colleagues and I eschewed the normal Brewer's Art Friday Happy Hour for a 4:30 showing of Pan's Labyrinth at The Charles (my miniature review: Really cool, shockingly violent, dragged in parts), then headed to Joe Squared for dinner and drinks. I found the place looking much fancier than the last time I was in there, and the food was similarly high class; I got poached haddock and a vegetarian portabella reuben. As I've stated before, I worked with the good-guy owner, Joe, for about a year over at the restaurant where I still wait tables, so I try to support his new place whenever I can; I was pleasantly surprised to find out that our former chef - an very talented guy who I imagine could hold his own on Hell's Kitchen - is now working there; hence the fancy new food, which was great. The best news? The place was packed, and there was a wait for available tables by the time we left. It's becoming a pretty hip place to eat, apparently.

And there you have it. I think I'm going to go downstairs and lift weights while watching Lisa Kudrow's show The Comeback, which is every bit as funny as Curb Your Enthusiasm and should have been just as big of a hit. That's my Saturday night. I bet you're jealous.

Sunny snowstorm

Today, in the middle of 9th period, Adam looked out the window, and screamed, "It's snowing!" We all turned and looked, and fell entranced by the scene - millions of huge snowflakes, stretched as far as the eye could see, set against the backdrop of an unkempt football field overlooking unkempt Baltimore. And most strangely, the sun was shining like it was the middle of July. We stared for a while. Some kids jumped out of their seats to look closer. We flung the windows open to let the flakes blow in. And we stared and stared.

Because we just read How to Read Literature Like a Professor, we wondered what the weather might symbolize. If it were a storm, and if life were a gothic novel like Frankenstein (which we're starting Monday), then it would signal that something sinister would happen. But a sunny snowstorm? Not sure about that. When a student explained that the snowy snowstorm was a bit of a paradox, I was in English teacher nerd heaven.

After school, we had another one those American Literature debates that I've had since I started teaching. We have to add some intercultural readings to our curriculum. We talk about some absolutely ridiculous stuff, like adding Phyllis Wheatley to our "Beginnings" unit to show that we're "multicultural". That sort of artificial tokenism just bugs the crap out of me. The fact is, it's impossible to do this sort of thing in any meaningful way to a curriculum that is built on chronology, simply because it was almost all white males who were writing for the first couple centuries of American Literature.

My problems with a chronologic curriculum are many-fold. The fact that it's all about studying literary movements, instead of fostering lifelong readers. The fact that the course seems geared to kids who want to become English majors. The fact that the 20th century (heck, and the 21st century) get incredibly short shrift. The fact that the first several months of the course are so dull. The fact that so much of the literature is inaccessible for reluctant readers. The fact that it's not really chronology, but rather our idea of what chronology is, that we've picked and chosen what we want to and then moved on. The fact that this is not history class, it's English class. The fact that the most contemporary novel we teach is Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937).

It doesn't make sense for me to structure a literature course for 15-year olds like a history course would be structured. I like big ideas, core questions, and unit questions.

Well, today, after several years of battle (this is an exaggeration... I battled after my first year of teaching it, and when we restructured curriculum years ago, but I didn't care again until I was teaching it), I finally might have seen a shift. A compromise of Thematic, but chronologic within the themes. This wouldn't pretend to be all-emcompassing. It would, perhaps, make me happy as well as others happy. I'm excited. I will keep this blog updated with the progress. Maybe I don't have to put "Anything but English 2" on my course requests for next year.

slow wednesday

There wasn't a table until 8pm. I had three of them - a 4-top, a 2-top, and a 1-top. I made $35, tipped out $8 of it, and walked with $27. A pretty inauspicious take for what I believe is my first weeknight shift of the school year. Oh well. At least I read about 100 pages of The Known World.

Not much new. Good week. Tired. Busy. Same old, same old. Couldn't even muster anything interesting to blog about yesterday. Today, more of the same, even though it's not keeping me from posting.

Nominations announced

The Oscar nominations were announced today. I'm a big film geek at times, and I'm always so intrigued by this day. I've followed the Oscars since high school - I still vividly remember all the fuss about Dave Letterman hosting it - and since the boon of the internet have really been able to follow all the politics that go into the decisions. I think they're fun to predict, handicap, disagree with, and agree with. Usually, I don't think the best movie of the year wins, or is even necessarily nominated, but often they are.

The big story of the day is that Dreamgirls was not nominated for Best Picture. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It was a good movie, certainly better than Chicago, the musical that won in 2003. I haven't yet seen The Queen or Letters From Iwo Jima, the latter being the film that probably pushed it out, as the predictions all listed Little Miss Sunshine, Babel, Dreamgirls, The Queen, and The Departed.

Who will I be rooting for? I actually really like all three of the films I've seen that are nominated. Little Miss Sunshine takes the simple formula of a road movie and turns it into a funny, moving tale of a family coming together. Still, The Royal Tenenbaums did the disfunctional family thing better just a few years ago. Babel was an amazing film of overlapping story, a film that, in my mind, far eclipsed last year's similar Crash, which won. And The Departed was two and a half hours of pure entertainment and I loved every second of it. Still, those plot holes bug me a little too much to throw all my support behind it. I'll have to think about it.

As for Best Actor, I was real happy to see Ryan Gosling nominated for Half Nelson. I haven't seen the movie because it was in and out of theaters in about three seconds, but hopefully this means a limited re-release back to The Charles. Will Smith was great in The Pursuit of Happyness. Otherwise, I've not seen the other three films - Peter O'Toole in Venus, Leonardo DeCaprio in Blood Diamond, or Forrest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland. It would have been cool for the Borat guy to be nominated here.

I've not seen enough of the Best Actress films to make much of a statement, but was happy to see Eddie Murphy, Adam Arkin, and Mark Wahlberg all nominated for Best Supporting Actor. I've also seen every performance in the Best Supporting Actress category, and loved each of their performances. I think I'm going to root for Rinko Kinkuchi, who was so amazing in Babel.

No wind

Today, as I gingerly stepped up the sidewalk to the front doors of the YMCA for my morning workout, I saw a blonde in her late twenties about twenty feet behind me. Her hands were full. I held open the door, she ran a little bit and thanked me, while I smiled the best smile I could muster at 5:48am. I continued walking, when I heard her call from behind: "Wait!" I turned around. She said, "You dropped something," then bent down and picked up the black cloth that had fallen out of my gym bag.

It was my boxer briefs. Oops. At least they were clean.

I was at school until 7:45pm tonight. Left the house at 5:30am, and didn't return for over 14 hours. What a life I leed. Or lack thereof.

Every one of my colleagues seemed like the winds were out of their sails today. People were snippy. People groaned. I guess that's what happens when you wake up and 96 other school districts and schools have two-hour delays, and yours doesn't. And we could have used it, too; the roads were icy this morning, and several cars couldn't make it up the hill of the school's driveway. There were several cars just sliding down the hill as they tried to drive up it with their child. It sucked.

As far as I'm concerned, Dr. Boston has failed her first test as School CEO. When every other county is cancelling or delaying, there's a reason for it. Follow suit. No need to be a renegade.

At least 24 is on tonight. I've been looking forward to it all day.

Sunday night fever

This is turning out to be a great Sunday night.

1. I made enough money this weekend to pay rent and get some groceries without resorting to the emergency credit card.

2. The weather is making me begin to allow myself to hope for a snow day - or at least a delay - tomorrow. There couldn't be a better time for it.

3. Despite working 23 hours at the restaurant this weekend after a week of teaching, I did not allow myself to skip a workout day. It's been 11 days in a row now. Today, even after being on my feet waiting tables for 9 hours, I lifted weights for 45 minutes and spent 60 minutes on the eliptical machine, burning well over 1000 calories. Thankfully, I had a great book to read and didn't even notice how long I was on.

4. I assigned the Juniors a choice of The Known World by Edward P. Jones or How To Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster as their winter break reading book, and they have to have it finished by Thursday. While I've obviously read both of them before, I've got to re-read both of them by Thursday and write quizzes. I'm a couple hundred pages back into The Known World, and I'm just amazed by it. Even a book that I've read before constantly is surprising me, uncovering new layers of depth. What an incredible novel. Maybe The Great American Novel has already been written. And I'm going to meet the author this April when he visits our school.

why don't you stop and look at what's goin' down

1. I really want to see Pan's Labrynth but going to the movies on a Saturday night alone seemed kind of depressing. I don't mind matinees alone, but not weekend night movies. I also have several students that frequent my favorite movie theater and that would be an embarassing sighting.

2. I had plans with a friend tonight but got stood up a bit. I needed a quiet night anyway.

3. It was so cold today that I almost considered not feeding my meter even though my car was literally parked right in front of the restaurant. Going outside was almost painful.

4. I worked 8-5 today, and 9-5 tomorrow. Some weekend.

5. I really can't complain because my $$ situation is more dire than it's been in years right now. I made $117 last night but only $60 today. Still, it was enough to cover rent.

6. I'm broke because I paid tuition at the end of December. It was expensive. I paid cash - no loans at all. I'll be hurting for a couple of months or so because of it, but it was worth it not having any loan hanging over my head. I also had to get $400 in tires for my car, plus get through the holidays. I'm also just trying to pay off bills that need to be paid off.

7. 30 Rock is the first new show that's managed to hold my attention for 3 episodes or more since 24 grabbed me in season 1. But, then again, I think Tina Fey is the perfect woman.

8. By the way, if you ask for a table that's big enough for your computer, and you're at a nice restaurant, and I accomondate you, putting the two of you at a 4-person table, and bring up your three separate courses that you split, and then copiously refill your water glasses for the next three hours while you take up one of my tables, and while I small-talk with you because you seem nice, and then, when I have your check all run up, you ask for another drink, meaning another new hand-written check... well, you should probably have left me more than $10.70 on $76. Bitches.

9. First disappointment of the YMCA: they're only open 10-7 on Sundays. I can't go tomorrow because I'm working 9-5. If they had opened at 7, I could have got a nice little workout in. Guess I'll be Bally-ing it tomorrow night.

10. I'm primed and ready for a snow or ice day on Monday. Or at least a delay. Please?

11. This is freakin' hilarious:

Midterm writing conferences

Who says I couldn't run a marathon? Today, I did 38 writing conferences in a row, without a break. Kids started coming in at 8:07 and the last one left right before 4. Ten minutes each. I somehow fell a half hour behind within the first two hours, and spent the rest of the day trying to make up the time, in addition to hearing complaints from kids in the hallway as they waited. "Dang! Why is he a half hour behind?" They shouldn't complain. They got out of sitting for a 2-hour exam by doing this writing conference with me.

I was happy with the results. Students got to hear me read their paper out loud to them, as I offered comments, questions, and ideas about how they might have made it better. I then evaluated it right there using the IB rubric as I reviewed it with them.

It was a grueling day, but I think it was worth it. I was also pleasantly surprised to see some kids nervous about their meeting with me. It's not that I want to make them nervous, but it makes me happy to see them caring enough about their education to be nervous. I mean, it is pretty nerve-racking to hear someone read you paper outloud to you! One girl couldn't even look at me. It was like I was giving her a shot. "Jennifer," I asked. "Are you paying attention?"

"Yes, Mr. E. I just can't do this. I just can't look at you."

Okay. She's a sweetheart. And darn smart. I've got a lot of them. There were so many ideas in this novel that they came up with that I never would have. I love it when that happens.

Other updates:
1. Today was Day 8 of 8 straight workouts. I'm feeling good about myself.

2. I watched several episodes of the Lisa Kudrow sitcom The Comeback tonight. Wow - it's brilliant, right up there with Curb Your Enthusiasm. It's a bummer it didn't get more of an audience. I thought it might be not go beyond its one-joke premise (about a washed-up, self-involved, sweet-but-dumb sitcom star as she films a reality show about her comeback in a supporting role as "Aunt Sassy" to a bunch of 20-year olds), but Kudrow is a comic genius here, mining it for all it's worth. I was laughing out loud and wondering how in the world the usual astute HBO audiences ignored this thing. Then I remembered that The Wire isn't exactly being kept alive by its huge ratings, either.

Six on the seventeeth

1. Today was Day 2 for me working out at the YMCA in the morning. I've been getting up at 5, getting to the gym by 5:45 or so, and having a great 90-minute workout to start the day. It feels incredible. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a trainer to go over their FitLinxx system that I don't understand at all yet (something about punching your number into every machine as you, and it tells you how much you lifted last time, I'm sure it doesn't work for the freeweights but it'll be cool to figure it out nonetheless). I can't imagine missing a day at this point.

2. Working out at a gym in the city instead of a gym in the county has led to two straight days of running into parents of students I teach or have taught. I like this; it makes me feel part of the community I teach in. Also gym related: Nakedness occurs in a locker room; I realize this. But it doesn't have to linger. Some guys are just way too comfortable to start chatting with you, or brushing their teeth, or getting naked, then walking across the locker room to pee butt-ass naked because, I don't know, they like to pee in the nude? I don't get it at all. Drop the drawers, put a towel around your waist, and head to the shower. Come back, drop the towel, and throw another pair of drawers on.

3. I'm remembering how fun it is to create these protein shakes that I have every morning. I make a pitcher-full in the afternoon, enough for the evening snack and for the breakfast in the morning. Tonight's - hot off the blender - featured as much shit as I could get in there: ice, raspberries, chocolate whey protein powder, blueberry flax seed, cooked oatmeal, two eggs, skim milk, plain skim yogurt, peanut butter, a banana, and peanut butter. That's 11 ingredients! This one was my best yet. And I feel so refreshed in my food knowledge right now that I could give you a justification for every single one of those ingredients. It's also really tasty!

4. I'm trying to figure out why I'm so broke lately. I think it stems from my $1300 tuition bill, the holidays, and the $400 car repair job (re: new tires) on the way home from Michigan. I guess that is a lot of money. But I'm not much on the savings this year, since I've been trying to pay off my summer classes for much of the school year, and I just drove the drive of shame, as I drove all the way down to Fell's Point to get my $78 in tips so I could go to the bank and deposit every single dollar of them so I could pay rent this month. Pretty sad. I am nearly 30 years old.

5. Speaking of turning 30 this year, I think it's pretty funny that the City Paper has what seems to be a permanent logo in the upper right hand corner this year that proclaims its 30th anniversary with the years 1977-2007 on it. I guess I'll be reminded every single Wednesday that this is the year that I turn 30. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I think my 30s are going to be real good.

6. My day today was spent doing 36 ten-minute writing conferences in a row. I forgot to schedule myself a break. My students' midterm is basically them bringing their self-generated essay to me, and having me read it aloud to them and offer my comments, questions, and feedback. Then I score it. It made for a grueling day, but everything from that particular midterm is graded. I also think it was pretty useful. It's so hard to schedule time to talk about writing with students in class, so this afforded the perfect opportunity. And the kid who wrote the essay comparing The Deer Hunter with The Sorrow of War? He really pulled it off. My other favorite today was a student who explored the paradox of the emotions of sex equating to emotions of war in Ninh's book. It nearly blew me away. Tomorrow, I'll have 38 consecutive writing conferences.

O-bama O-eight O-yeah

Last night, I took advantage of the balmy January weather and went outside after 24 to replace my bumper stickers. With a razor blade, I sadly scraped away the bumper sticker for Mfume, who I still hope to support in an election someday soon (like this fall in the race for Mayor of Baltimore). I then scraped away my "Teachers Against Bush" bumper sticker, opting instead for a little more optimism and a little less bile.

See, I need to make room for my new "Obama 2008" bumper sticker, which arrived in the mail last week from cafepress.com. I slapped that bumper sticker on my car, and the next morning - today - I read that Mr. Obama had formed his exploratory committee. If I had known my influence was so great, I would have done it earlier.

I'm somehow allowing myself to dare to hope that this man might be the great leader that unites our people.

I realize all the things that might not make him an ideal candidate - his youth, his inexperience - but I say he's got to run now before that stench of Washington gets on him. I have friends who want to "save him," thinking that our next President will be inheriting one of the worst situations in American history and will almost certainly be a one-termer. But screw that staying safe stuff. Playing it safe is what lost Gore the election, and it's what lost Kerry the election. Playing it safe would net us thermometers like John freaking Edwards or Hillary Clinton (who I respect a bit). We need a thermostat. A person who sets the temperature of the room and doesn't check first what it wants to hear. So far, Barack Obama has been that man. I hope he continues to be that for me.

My advice for Mr. Obama, right now: Don't bash Bush. It's already been done by the voters. Stick to the truth, keeping a tone like, "He faced some tough decisions, and made choices that I wouldn't have made, but he wants what is best for this country just like I do." Nobody on the right or left except the extremists would disagree with that comment. That's how you'll unite, and how you'll win.

Chalk one up for common sense

In my six years of teaching, midterms and finals have always followed the same schedule. Final 1 is from 8:30 - 10:30, Final 2 is from 10:45-12:45, and then the kids go home. It's what I had in my high school, and it's what, I think, is done traditionally almost everywhere. It would be pretty useless to try to squeeze in some lessons after that 12:45 exam, and the grading during this time is intense. It works out for everyone.

Today, however, we received a notice that the kids had to be held at school until the regular dismissal time. Teachers were only informed via a PA announcement. We were informed that this would occur for the rest of the week - that kids would have to attend shortened classes and lunch from 12:55-3:10 for the rest of the week. No reason was given, but it was clear this was not an in-school decision. It came from downtown.

Therefore, we did a lot of nudging and winking with the students, and from 1:00-3:00, there were no students in the building. I met with some kids, did some grading and planning, and marvelled at the lunacy we had to fake our way through until the end of the day. The hubris displayed by people who think they can change a longstanding schedule made weeks in advance over the weekend is just astounding. Luckily, common sense won out in this neverending battle between what is right and what looks right.

A few other things today:

1. I had my first morning workout in a long time, maybe even this school year. I went to the Stadium Place YMCA, and loved it. My day flew by, and I felt so good afterwards. The only thing is, it's now 5:40 and I'm ready for bed, having been up for 13 hours on just 6 hours of sleep.

2. I can't sleep, though, because I have to watch The Deer Hunter tonight. A kid begged and begged me to write his essay about The Sorrow of War on this film, and I figure I'd better see it before I grade it.

3. I finally had a followup appointment about my shoulder. No surgery needed, which isn't surprising because it's been feeling a bit better since hitting the gym again. I have a partial tear in one of the rotator cuff muscles, but it's so minor that it probably won't need repairing. I got a cortisone shot and was on my way. The doc says that there will be no side effects, except for 5% of people who feel more symptoms of the pain they felt before. Unfortunately, I'm one of those 5%. Ouch!

4. I nearly wrung a kid's neck today. Good thing for our basketball team, I didn't. He's going to fail, though.

24

I missed the season premiere, just like I did last year, and figured I was done for for the season. I have no way to tape shows, and don't have cable, let alone Tivo. I was going to explore if I could find it online, but I'm not usually that savvy about finding free things I shouldn't on the Internet. So, I was going to give up on the season, leaving it as another one I'd just DVD in the future.

But I turned it on, the only alternative being a silly awards show, and - damn - it got me by the throat and throttled me. And the ending. Wow. I'd forgotten how riveting that show could be. Hell, I forgot how riveting television could be. My jaw was on the ground.

This will be my first appointment television since, well, the first couple of seasons of (pre-second job) 24. (Note: I think The Wire is great, but have never been able to watch it live.)

Three things

1. In my renewed emphasis on health and fitness, I've been re-reading one of my favorite fitness books, The Abs Diet. It's easy reading on the eliptical machines, when it's tough (at least for me) to get into a dense novel (I managed 17 pages of The Known World yesterday before switching books) but easy to read a lighter book about eating right. It's just a really common-sense, well-explained look at eating and living well, and while I know most of the information, it's good for a refresher. As a result of reminding myself what the 12 power foods are, I've also been refreshed about the two worst foods you can eat: trans-fats and corn syrup. I've been looking for them all weekend. I was just extremely disappointed, for example, to realize that my Heinz ketchup has high-fructose corn syrup, as well as regular corn syrup, in it. That's reason enough to go organic with the ketchup, especially since organic ketchup from Trader Joe's costs no more than Heinz ketchup at a regular grocery store.

2. Today I did one of my favorite things - did a double feature. I didn't intend to, but got to The Charles at 1:55 pm for the 2:00 showing of The Pursuit of Happyness. The line was all the way down the block! I'd never seen it so crowded. The movie ended up being sold out, so I ended up seeing The History Boys instead. I saw The Pursuit of Happyness directly thereafter. I thought both movies were pretty good, with flaws, but both made up for it with tremendous endings. Both films' last scenes got me real good. It's time to crown Will Smith as one of our finest actors. He hasn't made a bad movie since that Wild West movie, and never disappoints as far as I'm concerned.

3. I had my first real workout today at the Stadium Place YMCA. I've been a member there since September or so, so I've really been wasting money by being a member (something I can only justify in my head a little because I'm paying almost nothing for Bally's right now, so both of my gym memberships combined are much less than I'd pay most anywhere else in the city), and am ready to cancel the membership. However, I want to give it the old college try; it's so close to my work that it doesn't make sense for me to drive all the way out to Towson in the mornings rather than this place. I've been there probably 5 times or so, and had found new ways to be disappointed every time; never enough help, too crowded, etc. But, today, I decided that enough was enough, and no more excuses. I went, and had a great workout. I spent about 2 hours there, going at it for 30 minutes on an eliptical before hitting the weights for 45 minutes, then back to a different eliptical. I have a pretty good feel for it now, and I finally found a worker who could help me with my main question - how in the world do you get into the men's locker room? I also signed up for an orientation, which I didn't know I could get - Bally's just automatically calls you to set it up, and I thought I had to pay seperately at the Y for it. This lack of customer service is disappointing (I already have Bally's if I want poor customer service), but I guess it's to be expected since isn't the YMCA a non-profit organization? Anyway, I thought the facilities were pretty good, although the place needs less exercise bikes and more elipticals. I'd never seen such a line for elipticals as I saw here. Most places have the "30 Minute Time Limit" up but no one needs to follow it because there's really not a wait, but here there is and it's enforced. People will just come and look at how much time you have left to make sure you know that they know you're almost done. I'll be back there tomorrow at 5:30. We'll see if it keeps my interest or if I return to Bally's.

To quit or not to quit

Carla walked by the restaurant at around 10:30 last night. I was switching over from dinner to the next day's brunch shift, and happened to be right by the window. She looked at my strangely, smiled, and ran inside to give me a hug and catch up. See, she use to work there with me. I've been there since late July of 2003, and, the best that I can recall, she worked there from late 2003 until early 2005. She also worked the job as a second job, working just a couple nights a week. A funny girl, I definitely have missed her sardonic sense of humor over the last couple of years, when I don't think I've seen her at all.

"Can you believe I'm still working here?" I asked, and she said she couldn't. I told her that the two other veterans were also still there, and she couldn't believe it. We talked for a bit longer, exchanged numbers, and we were off.

This is a time of the year that seems to repeat itself every year. Over the holidays, I swear that I won't work at the restaurant much longer. I say that I'm simply working too much, that I'm tired all the time, that I really need a change. But then the holidays end. Life becomes less harried. I work just a few shifts at the restaurant, make plenty of money, and now the thought of quitting seems foreign. There's no answer to the "why quit?" question anymore. I mean, why quit a job that doesn't stress me out much, gives me some good money, and is flexible with me? I'm not sure how I could have survived this post-holiday and post-tuition time of January without this job. In fact, I'm barely making ends meet this month as it is.

Before I know it, baseball season will start. I'll be down to one shift a week, and it will barely register that I have two jobs. After that, the summer will be here. I'll be taking three classes and finishing the Master's degree. I can't teach summer school. Finding another job will be a huge hassle. And so it goes... I keep working here and working here with no end in sight. Am I alright with this? That's the question.

Watching the game while waiting tables

The boss brought in a little flat-screen television last night, so we were able to watch the game at the restaurant. Even after I got a couple of tables, the boss didn't turn it off, and as I kept one eye on those tables, I kept the other glued to the television. It was the first football game I watched this season, and I found myself getting into it quite a bit. If it were a better game, I'd probably have leaped on the back of that bandwagon and been all about the Ravens right now. It's hard not to be drawn into the story of the Colts leaving in the middle of the night, and be emotionally affected by the revenge and grudge of it all, and really want those Ravens to win.

Alas, it seemed like they played pretty badly, and deserved to lose. I was worried that the citizens of Baltimore would Detroit it up a little bit, with some burning of cars or something like that, but it was as if the city went into a quiet mourning afterwards. The streets of Fell's Point were desolate shortly after the game ended, and I was shocked at how few were anywhere at 1am when I got off work and walked down to Ale Mary's for a quiet drink with Zack.

All in all, it turned out to be a pretty decent night. I was well north of $100 for the evening, and I really needed it, and now I'm ready for an afternoon much like yesterday's - a trip to the gym and a trip to a matinee - before I head in for an evening shift tonight. Normally I'd mind an evening shift on a Sunday night, but the Martin Luther King holiday means I'm only about halfway done with my weekend at this point.

Perfect Saturday

It's hard to imagine a more perfect Saturday. I wake up after sleeping in a little bit, have an intense workout that makes me feel real good, and then see an afternoon matinee of Children of Men on the way back home.

The film opens with the news reporting that the youngest person on the planet has been murdered at the age of 19. The year is 2027, and the human race has been infertile since 2008. What follows was a superb film, which builds to one of the best endings you'll ever hope to see. I've liked Alfonso Cuaron's films for years - yes, I even loved his underrated Gwyneth Paltrow/Ethan Hawke adaptation of Great Expectations - and the way he films the last ten minutes or so is just unbelievable.

Two great movies in two days. Tomorrow, I'm going to time my morning workout so that I can see another matinee, probably The Pursuit of Happyness, which I've wanted to see since I heard about it months ago.

I've got to work tonight at the restaurant, and we'll probably be dead because of the Ravens game. Sometimes we're good alternative programming for some people on big football nights, but I'm not optimistic that the place is going to draw much of a crowd. The good thing is, though, that the boss probably won't be around for very long, since he's going to be wanting to watch the game somewhere. I wish I could watch it. Despite my lack of NFL fandom, I usually get into the season at around playoffs time, and that, coupled with the Baltimore connection, will probably make tonight exciting. Alas. I need the money, though, so it's fine that I'm working.

Notes on Notes On a Scandal

I know some people find Phillip Glass soundtracks heavy-handed, but I love them; tonight, I saw Notes On a Scandal, starring Judy Dench and Cate Blanchett, and the soundtrack was really awesome. It was a pretty great movie, full of dark humor, great lines, and superb acting, and it was the soundtrack that might have stood out the most.

I'm in a movie-going mood. If I had not been giving a friend a ride home tonight after the film, I would have double-featured it and saw The Pursuit of Happyness. Children of Men, Freedom Writers, and Alpha Dog are a few more on my must-see list right now.

Biggest Loser, Week #1

I lost 1.5 pounds this week, in the truncated week #1 of the "Biggest Loser" competition of some folks at school. It could very well have just been because I took a big pee right beforehand, but no matter: two workouts in three days and I'm feeling like I'm back in the game a bit. I've got to start going in the mornings, but as of now, I'm happy, and just keep reminding myself of the adage, "It takes six weeks for a human being to get into a habit." When I was in the habit of working out every-single-day just a couple of years ago, I was the happiest I've ever been, and I'd like to get back there.

I'm getting cocky about the contest, as I've done this weight loss before and am not sure of my competitors have. There are a couple of 300-pounders I'm competing against, and today when I went down for my Friday weigh-in, they were sitting around a table full of food. Now, it was healthy food that they brought in to celebrate their first week on the diet, but I still thought it was funny - and I'm not even sure if it was that healthy, as I saw chicken salad and banana pudding on the table.

There's a male winner and a female winner, so my good friend - a female - and I are conspiring about how we might sabotage our competition's chances in the contest. For example, today we pondered whether we should bring in a box of donuts to put in the office. As it turns out, we really didn't need to; they had a spread fit for a king as it was.

I honestly don't really care about weight loss very much, but like winning contests, and weight loss generally is a bi-product of working out and feeling healthier, so I'm all for it in this case.

Making History

Last night, I made a bit of history; I was part of the first ever winner of Thursday Trivia Night at Grand Central.

It was a strange place to end up, I guess, but we went out for a group to this new Mexican Restaurant that is upstairs and next door to Grand Central (where the former 2nd location of Dizzy Issie's was). There, we had some mediocre Mexican food, learned that the restaurant had the same owner as the gay bar downstairs. We eventually found ourselves embroiled in a trivia game sponsored by Absolut. The questions weren't necessarily gay themed, although we did win on the finale question in which we had to put Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, and Reba McIntyre in descending order of age (the answer is Cyndi, Reba, and Madonna - in that order). At the end, they crowned us the first ever winners of Central Station and Absolut Trivia Night, and gave us a bunch of swag. Exciting, I know.

I'm done for the day teaching, since today is Midterm Day and the current midterm being taken is the one for my planning period. I signed out to go to Staples, but now I'm thinking of hitting the gym. Sneaky.

Fhuckleberry Finn

I'm pretty stressed right now at school, for a variety of reasons. My English 2 class - the one with the much more at-risk kids, the one with the high-stakes graduation requirement test at the end of the year, the one with the kids with the low level - is stressing me out because it's the first time anyone in our team has taught the course, and we're left inventing the wheel over and over again. I can barely keep up with all the work in that class alone. At this point, I'm doing a lot of faking it with the grading and probably will end up having to do some eyeballing to assess what grades the kids earned this last quarter.

I also hate the curriculum. My hesitation about the teaching the curriculum in a chronological way have come to fruition. We spent the first four months of the school year on Puritanism, Transcendentalism, Romanticism, and now Realism, and I'm just bored to tears by it all - so what? So we can teach a History course? No, not really, but several would argue that it's so we can teach the kids how American Literature developed. And I just don't care that much and certainly don't think the kids do. I want my kids to love literature, to see how it's an important tool for figuring out the world around them, for experiencing their own lives and those of others.

Give me an American Literature curriculum to teach, and I'd focus on ideas. What are some of the chief ideas of America? The idea of the American dream, perhaps (Of Mice and Men, The Great Gatsby, and Raisin in the Sun). Maybe the idea of the individual place and importance in society (Walden, Their Eyes Were Watching God, The Scarlet Letter, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). Perhaps the idea of the immigrant experience (Dreaming in Cuban or The Joy Luck Club or maybe some non-fiction), or the experience of a racial minority (Native Son or The Known World or several others), or the experience of war (Crane, Hemingway). Perhaps the idea of the religious experience in America (the Puritans up to The Color Purple).

No, it wouldn't be all-inclusive, because you wouldn't get to half of that. But it also wouldn't pretend to be. And it would be about ideas, which I just think are so much more interesting than chronology and style or even ideas about writing.

Notably absent above is The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which I think I hate as much as the kids do. I can see some value in teaching it - it's interesting to ponder whether the book is racist, and interesting to look at the satire of it, and for kids to wrap their heads around the controversy surrounding the novel both then and now - but I just think it's repetitive, silly, and that there's just not that much below the surface. I want the novel to be so much, I think, which is part of my problem. I want it to be a great anti-racist novel, I want it to be hilarious, I want Jim to be noble. But I still debate in my head whether it's racist (Jim certainly does some stupid, demeaning things), I don't think it's that funny (why does it meander so much?), and doubt if it's the great anti-racist novel (why all the silly king and the duke episodes? I hate the king and the duke).

So I'm sloggin through a book I'm really down on, and, at the same time, I'm pondering how in the world this piece of literature is helping them in life when they could be reading a great book on both the immigrant experience and race in America - namely, Barack Obama's Dreams of my Father. It's not like they'll most likely pick up that book sometime in their life; these kids are mostly not readers. The kids would get three times as much from that book - and I'm talking not just the ideas, but also the vocabulary - as they get from dumb Huck. And I'm just using that book as an example because I just read it. I'm sure there are tons more books the kids would love over Huck Finn. And, of course, it's not about what the kids love; but it is about making them lifelong readers and learners. Huck Finn, which I don't think one kid really likes, isn't doing that at all.

In my Junior classes, I've spent almost the last week having individual conferences with my students about their writing. It's hard. I'm pushing them harder than I've ever been pushed as a writer in high school or college, and they're responding well. However, the rest of the class is unsupervised and just keeping busy on independent work while I'm talking with the individual student. With classes of 37 or 38, it gets tedious to go through them all, as well as finding appropriate work for the rest of the kids to be doing.

The essays are due tomorrow, though, so that should help matters for a bit.

Not to mention that my room is still full of kids until after dark.

Not to mention one of my favorite students was almost kidnapped by that stereotypical man-in-a-van on the way to school on Monday, and all of her materials are at police headquarters being fingerprinted, and she's understandably shook up.

Not to mention one of the most disappointing students I've ever taught - and I've taught him for two years now - is featured heavily in the student newspaper today. Just what his ego needs. I don't know if he's learned one thing from me in a year and a half. Some days, it certainly doesn't seem like it.

The Hall of Fame

The Hall of Fame probably does exactly what it should do: remind people about baseball in the midst of winter, and provide lots of points of argument over the random reasoning of the sportswriters. And, like the Oscars, I fall hook, line, and sinker for it every year.

Ripken and Gwynn made it. Obviously they both deserve it. There were 8 sportswriters who failed to vote for Ripken, and 13 who failed to vote for Gwynn, which leads me to believe that there will probably never be a unaminous selection.

What bugs me is the attention hurled at the big media stars at the expense of other deserving players. It kills me that there is not one member of the 1984 World Series Champion Detroit Tigers in the Hall of Fame, when the era's 2nd best shortstop (Trammell), the era's 2nd best second-baseman (Whitaker), and the era's best starting pitcher (Morris) were all on the team. 74 sportswriters voted for friggin' Dave Conception, while only 73 voted for Trammell.

Conception hit .267/.322/.357 for his career. Trammell hit .285/.352/.415, and led in every single offensive category. Trammell was one of the best defensively, winning 4 Gold Gloves.

Goose Gossage should be in, too, but he'll make it in next year. I'd have voted for - beyond Ripken and Gwynn - Gossage, Trammell, Morris, Blyleven, Rice, and Smith.

There will be some interesting elections in the next three years, when the only shoo-in is Rickey Henderson (eligible 2009) and the only one with an arguable case otherwise is Edgar Martinez. For some reason, it seems that borderline candidates' vote totals can go up and down depending on the voters' moods, so I expect some of them to go up when they decide they want to actually elect someone in next year. I predict that Gossage and Rice make it in next year, and that Henderson and Blyleven make it in the next, and that McGwire, Morris, and Smith make it in the next. I think Trammell, unfortunately, will have to wait for the Veterans' Committee.

Today

1. Today marks five years since No Child Left Behind was signed. I wish Pelosi's first 100 hours included a plan to revise this flawed, failed policy.

2. Today I finally got to the bottom of one of my stacks, and now I know all the kids who haven't turned stuff in. I really should start some sort of system in which I mark off things as they're turned in, so I know quicker than three days before teh end of the quarter who is failing.

3. Today, I just had to muse to myself that if today were a normal Baltimore day in the middle of January, then we'd have a foot of snow right now because of all the precipitation over the weekend and today. I hate winter, but I want at least a little bit of it. While today was a fine day at school, I still wouldn't mind a snow day.

4. Today was mostly a good day.

Dreamgirls

A friend called tonight to ask if I wanted to see Dreamgirls, and so the two of us and a third met at The Senator and saw the movie that a lot of my kids have already seen and which will probably be nominated for a bunch of Academy Awards.

I'm not usually into musicals, but this one was great. The music my parents raised me on could probably be whittled down to a list of four: Harry Chapin, Carole King, The Beatles, and Motown. And while I still love all those artists today (the CD that I can't stop listening to lately? Love, the Beatles remix album), it's Motown that I think has stood the test of time the most.

The film presents a pretty cynical view of Motown Records and its pursuit of crossover hits, and I enjoyed one of the film's theses: that music needs to have soul. However, the main message of the movie? That Jennifer Hudson is a star. The epic "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" did not disappoint; it was one of the most powerful moments on film that you're ever going to see. After Hudson's last gasp, she audience - mostly white, mostly old - couldn't resist applauding for 30 seconds or so. (One quibble - I'm not sure why Hudson is wearing a shiny gold dress during the performance; she's coming from the doctor's office, so it doesn't make sense to me. Jennifer Holliday - during her 1982 Tonys appearance, in a performance of the song that I still prefer - is wearing some sort of silk pajama things when she sings it, and this makes sense to me, as she's been backstage changing... I think that since the scene calls for so much pain and desperation, that the gold suit just doesn't fit like something a bit more plain would have...)

Hudson's starmaking performance carries the movie, but Eddie Murphy is a lot of fun, too, making me laugh out loud quite a bit. Beyonce is just fine. So is Jamie Foxx, even if he's saddled with the worst songs to sing. The film was a lot better than Chicago, because it felt more like a movie instead of a filmed play. And the music was just so good that it was hard not to like it, even when it got a little silly at times.

Here's Holliday's performance, which I just want to post again because she's a woman wronged.

Tomorrow is the New Year

Since last week was so shitty, I've decided to make tomorrow my New Year. It wasn't that I broke my New Year's Resolutions; it was that I never started them. My only 2007 workout was on New Year's Day. My plan for getting more sleep? Didn't happen until Friday night. Reading for pleasure? Hell, I'm having a hard time staying ahead of the students while we The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

So my stress last week is over. The weekend, despite my intense working schedule during it, was actually refreshing. All told, in my three shifts, I made $200, which is making me feel a lot less stressed out about money this week and helped cut into that holiday spending. While I'm sore from being on my feet for so many hours, it was also worth it. I also had a great time at that party last night.

And now it's baby steps. Make some hard-boiled eggs tonight and pack a healthy lunch. Get seven hours of sleep. Wake up at 5am and get some exercise before school. Let health and happiness follow.

Tomorrow is the weigh-in for our faculty's "Biggest Loser" contest. I'm organizing the white people for the contest, or, more accurately, I was directed by my ballsy black co-worker with a tongue in her cheek that, "Alright, I got all the fat black people, you get all the fat white people." The weigh-in will be done upstairs in the English Department. I don't want to get cocky, but I think I'm going to win.

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian/ I thought I had found the one

What's funny about that old rhyme - "Liquor before beer, you're in the clear!" - is that anything you put in that first slot means you're in the clear. "Quaaludes before beer, you're in the clear!". Well, tonight I'm trying wine before beer, or perhaps wine before more wine. Either way, I'm probably getting drunk. I've got a ride, a reason, and a revelatory excuse with a friend's 30th birthday.

It's a music-themed party and we're all supposed to bring music to help my friend enter her third decade. It's a great idea. I started out purchasing (on I-Tunes) the song that was #1 on her birthdate - "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" - as well as the song that was #1 on her 18th birthday ("Hero" by Mariah Carey) and the song that was #1 on her graduation date ("I Swear" by All 4 One) and then decided that, novelty and all, I didn't want to subject anyone to those horrible songs.

So, I've made a CD full of good hit songs from the mid-nineties ("Losing My Religion", "Sick of Myself", "Regulate") as well as a few songs that are plays on her name Rose (including a cover of Bette Midler's "The Rose" by Jonathan Richman), as well as a bunch of lesbian-themed songs (Catie Curtis, Indigo Girls, Melissa Ferrick, Tracy Chapman, Weezer's "Pink Triangle"), since, well, she's a lesbian. It's going to be a great night.

I've got reason to celebrate beyond the main one, too: I had a great shift at the restaurant today. It's amazing what 8 hours of sleep can do to my mental and physical health. It was dead for the first three hours, so I got tons of grading and reading done, and then I promptly made $120 in five hours.

The highlight of the day? Serving a woman holupki and apple cake on her 92nd birthday. The lowlight? One of the biggest assholes I've ever served, who left before his main course because he had decided he'd waited too long. His wait? His order went in at 2:03, his first course came out at 2:14, his first course was bussed at 2:21, I fired his second course at 2:22, and it came out at 2:38. And we were busy. I know all these times because we record every one of them on the ticket. Fifteen minutes is his limit, he said, and he "goes out to eat all the time." Bastard. McDonald's doesn't count. I almost got into an argument with him - I don't really care, he's never coming back anyway and I'm on my way out of the waiting tables life - but started to and held back. He said, "We've been waiting for over an hour," and I was able to prove to him that he hadn't been. He said, "I don't want to quibble over a few minutes." I wanted to not only quibble, but call him a snide asshole. I didn't thought. Still, no tip, of course. Didn't let it ruin my day, though, either!

Twitching

Today, during 6th period, my left eye started to twitch. It was involuntary and scared the hell out of me, and is a good reminder of how stressed out I am this week. Fired. Re-hired. Conflicts with students. Conflicts with administrators. Long, long hours. Very little sleep because my schedule is still messed up from New Year's.

The twitch hit me with a bit of the thud that I'm going to die at 50 of a heart attack if I keep this up. I'm not sure why I'm working so hard, or why I'm so stressed. It has a lot to do with lack of sleep and exercise, I'm sure, but also with the fact that I haven't slowed down at all in the last several weeks. My "vacation" wasn't much of one - too much traveling, too short. This weekend, one I desperately need, is filled with three shifts at the restaurant. It's like I'm tumbling through the air and don't ever have enough time to right myself.

Generally, I'm not a very stressed out individual. I'm on the even keel most of the time. So, when I do get stressed, I think it's a pretty damn big deal - and so does my body, apparently, since I got a twitch.

I went into the restaurant for a shift tonight, and learned the news that I'd be closing tonight. That's a 7am until 1am day. Since I work at 8am tomorrow, this made me want to cry. Instead, I begged and pleaded a co-worker to close for me, and now I'm home at the decent hour of 10:30. I work 8-5 tomorrow and 9:30-5 on Sunday. I'm the hardest working man in Baltimore, but I owe just $573 on my car and I think I'm about ready to call it quits.

The other thing that hit me today is the amount of coffee I'm drinking. I start everyday with a trip to 7-11, where I fill up my 32-oz coffee mug for $1.00. That usually does me, but today I had a sugar-free energy drink with lunch, and then, at the restaurant, I proceeded to drink two pints of coffee. I drink coffee there more out of boredom than anything else. However, I added it all up, and basically figured out that I've drank roughly nine cups of coffee today, and therefore should be dead or something.

I need to get myself healthy, pronto. I'm out of control with the stress, the caffeine, the lack of sleep, and the lack of exercise.

Thirty

My good friend, a 2nd year teacher, trudged down to my room as the clock was nearing 7. "Epiph," she said, sighing. "I thought my second year of teaching would be so much easier than my first. What the fuck am I still doing here at 7?"

"Hell, I'm in year six, and I'm still here. Don't ask me," my eyes red from the dry air of the building and the mountain of essays I'd just graded.

And so it goes.

We're single, childless and in our late twenties, and we're the ones putting 12 or 13 hours a day into a job that could take 16 or 17 if you let it - the work just never gets all done, there's always something more to do or something to do better. But you could also fake out almost everyone with dittos and glitter by putting in just 8 hours and leaving five minutes after the bell rings.

2007 has gotten off to a mediocre start. The briefness of the break combined with the travel back to Michigan ensured my lack of energy this week; for a long time this year, I had looked at the Christmas holiday as a chance to (and this is pretty sad) get caught up on readings and grading, but that didn't happen, and now I feel stressed. In addition, of course, I got fired and rehired this week. I'm not sleeping well. I'm not working out. The last two days, I've worked till I dropped at school, then went home to read texts, plan lessons, and try to debrief the day. This weekend, I work three shifts at the restaurant, and, while I want to quit, my tuition bills loom.

This is the year I turn 30. This is the life I've carved out for myself, a life that fits the definition of living to work instead of working to live. It's good; I love my job; I'm content, mostly. Is this all there is, though? I'm just not sure.

Betty White telling dirty jokes

I'm working way too much right now, so I'll just post something that always cheers me up: old ladies making dirty jokes. Here's living legend Betty White during the William Shatner Comedy Roast. Some of my favorite quotes are below.



"Let's face it, we all know Shatner is nuts, but, George (Tekai) has actually tasted them."

"Oh, it always makes me laugh when I see Artie Lange onstage, knowing I'm going to outlive him."

"I feel such a special connection to you, Farrah. I'm in my 80s, and, uh, that's the last decade you mattered."

"The truth is, I caught the bouqet at Bill's wedding... and I hope I'm alive to catch the cockring at Sulu's"

Unfired

I'm not sure how, but somehow I was unfired today. 6th period came again, and there was my Athletic Director at my door, a slight smirk on his mouth. He said, "Alright, we need to have meeting number two," and the next thing I knew, I was told that after a long meeting between a bunch of bigwhigs that morning, I'm now back in charge of the baseball program.

He didn't give me much of a reason as to why, probably because he's not the one who made either decision. I know that a wave of protest was starting to develop, and some folks had talked to the decision-maker. But we talked about improving communication and ensuring that cycles are not repeated, and then told me that I was back in charge.

It's all so strange, and I don't get it. However, I have to remind myself over the next few days to be humble. During the meeting today, there were intimations to problems that occurred last year that I had nothing to do with, and in fact I see myself as really putting myself on the line to do the right thing when it occurred. Part of me today felt that staying silent while subtle criticisms were smiled my way was the wrong thing to do: a bitter pill that I didn't want to swallow. And another part of me is frustrated by the seemingly random, mercurial nature of these decisions. But I'm going to grit my teeth, smile, and get back on that baseball field, because that's what best for those kids, and because it means a great deal to me.

I have to admit that I was getting a little primed for the fight. I read the contract, mapped out my grievance, and started thinking about organizing letters from colleagues, students, and parents. It's good that I didn't have to do it; conflict just isn't good for the soul compared to baseball. Yet, when a colleague told me today that she was happy for me, but disappointed that something more wasn't going to come from it in terms of making real change, I could relate. I guess I'm not Rosa Parks, though. They took my seat, but gave it back. I'm not the one.

Fired

The day started off great, with a lesson that I think pushed my 10th graders' thinking quite a bit: problemitizing Jim in Huckleberry Finn, examining and evaluating whether he falls into minstrel stereotypes or not. See, a lot of people say that the novel is racist because it uses the n-word over 200 times, but that's just silly; it's the character who is saying it, and Twain has a point to prove with it. Where the argument gets far more interesting, I think, is when one examines the character of Jim to determine whether he falls into racist stereotypes. So we talked about minstrel shows, blackface, then read parts of the script for Spike Lee's Huckleberry Finn, a film I'd just about kill to see get made, and determined whether Wiley's script portrayed Jim as a Sambo-type character or as a fully-formed adult with common sense. I could see wheels turning. Mine sure were.

It's important to remember that now, because my day - and, really, it seems, much of my professional life - might now be divided into "Before 6th Period" and "After 6th Period." During 6th period, I received the worst news of my professional life, and was relieved from a position for the first time ever. It's not the teaching job. It's the coaching job. The shock was huge (it stemmed from something that happened last year), the outrage monumental (this is the part I shouldn't blog about, but suffice it to say it's about something that is complete and utter BS), the sadness profound (this will be my 6th year coaching, and my 4th with these kids - most of whom are seniors), and the fallout - because I intend to fight it with every means possible - could be bigger. It wasn't a move to get someone better, or to win games, or anything else. It was a move to get rid of me. And I'm not the type of person who usually makes waves.

Watch me now, though.

The Year of Double-O Seven.

I've often spent a long time writing a New Year's Resolutions post. Last year, I made twelve, and accomplished about half of them: I kept a smaller varsity baseball team, even cutting a couple kids and putting the rest in a small JV team that someone else coached. I read more (at least twelve novels in the last year, probably more). I figured out something useful to do over the eight weeks I was off in the summer. I took classes. I spent more time with friends. I went to the NCTE conference. And I got that tattoo I've been eyeing for years. That's 7 of 12, which is pretty darn good. I didn't accomplish getting a girlfriend (but I dated a bit), I didn't take a trip over spring break (but I relaxed, which ended up being more important), I didn't pay off my car (but it's down to three digits and should be done by the end of the month or so), I didn't go to the movies more (though I wish I did), and I didn't lose weight or feel better about my health (in fact, this has gotten much worse.) And, of course, I did not quit the second job. The three of us who have been there the longest mused last night that last year, on New Year's Eve, we all said that it would be our last working. We'll see if it's true this year. I'm hoping to make it through Valentine's Day or so.

This year, I'll simplify my goals for the year, first by looking back, then by looking ahead.

What 2006 was to me:
1. It was the year that I went back to school, taking three MAT courses and getting on the right track to finishing my Master's by the end of summer 2007.

2. It was the year the team I'd been following since I was nine years old made it to the World Series after 12 consecutive years of losing, giving me more joy than I ever imagined it would.

3. It was the year my grandmother, a loving force in my life as I was growing up, passed away after a long battle with Alzheimer's Disease.

4. It was the year that I was able to regain some faith in the American voting public, which was somehow able to elect George W. Bush President in two separate elections.

5. It was the year I was given two new challenging, high-stakes courses, which made me feel a combination of two things: (1) important and trusted by the powers-that-be in my school because I was given these two high-profile coures, and (2) like a loser because I've got two high-profile courses and am working a very strenuous schedule that many would have refused.

6. My first year presenting at a national professional conference.

7. I'm definitely "fat" again for the first time since 2000 or so. I've been slowly gaining weight for three years, so slowly that I doubt if people who see me everyday notice, and I didn't gain any more than my usual rate this year - probably around 15 pounds - but several pieces of clothing don't fit and the doctor is telling me I've got to lose 20 pounds by March. This sucks, because I've maintained mostly regular workouts this year, but they haven't been everyday, and I have good weeks and bad weeks. I have somehow forgotten that I was born with genetics that prevent me from being fit and healthy unless I am working my ass off at the gym. Well, I didn't forget; I just got lazy.

8. My shoulder hurt me for much of 2006, which is related a bit to #7, depending on how much of an excuse I decide to make it (I can't lift weights over my head, which puts a serious cramp on workouts). I finally went to the doctor on Nov. 7, and have been slowly moving through the hell that is the modern American HMO ever since - an appointment with a specialist three weeks later, an appointment with an MRI two weeks later, and then another appointment with a specialist three weeks later, on Jan. 16.

9. Got in a pretty big conflict at school with a VIP, something I think has blown over for him but I still feel every single time I see him.

What I hope 2007 brings for me:

1. A renewed commitment to fitness and health. Daily workouts are needed to maintain this.

2. Finish the Master's. I'm well on my way - three courses, three A's so far - but it's expensive and the summer courses will be challenging financially. I probably should look into student loads rather than paying off that several-thousand bill on my own without any income coming in. But I don't want any more damn loans!

3. Get myself in the financial position necessary to buy a house: the car should be paid off, the errant credit card from summer courses paid off, and various other small bills taken care of. I wonder if I'll ever get in a position when I feel like I'm working for myself and not for others, but it sure would be nice.

4. Continue to read more: always have a book I'm reading that is not directly related to school.

5. Get my shoulder healthy.

6. Go to the dentist.

7. Go to bed earlier every day.

8. Grade papers quicker. I've been doing better lately; this trend needs to continue.

9. And, of course, quit that second job. I've worked far too much for far too long.

Fluttering eyelids

I just worked from 9am until 2am, then went out for a drink afterwards. This will be the last New Year's Eve I ever work. I'm so tired that I can barely type.

Happy New Year!