Before I take the Target brand Ny-Quill and go to bed

For some reason, I happened over to the guestbook on the former site of this blog, and was reminded that I used to blog to bare my soul, and it connected with people. I don't write very personally anymore. "Here's what I did today and my feelings about it." I wonder if this blog has been dying a slow death over the last few years. I'd like to write more revealing, personal entries, but too many people I know read this thing now. I have to accept that it's no longer anonymous. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm not baring my soul for all to see, especially as I'm 30 years old and, to some, that might seem a little silly now. But I do miss it. I was a lot happier then, easier in letting people in on my feelings because I'd already done it online, for practice.

I wasn't expecting to be home tonight. I had to wait tables, and I figured I'd have to close - it's my first shift in a week - but my cold is not letting go. I'm at the point now where I'm sore and achy everywhere. I took two tables and went home. I'm now contemplating whether I'll go into school on Monday or not. I'm thinking that it's the perfect day to take a sick day - I've been legitimately sick for almost a week now and could use another recovery day, I'm between units and it works pedogically, and, importantly, I just feel a little frustrated right now with the direction I'm headed with the 9th graders and could use another day to figure it out. I need to teach, not assign. I feel like this week has been a nadir for me as a teacher in the 2007-2008 school year. All good teachers have plenty of doubts and points of reflection, and this one could be the major one for this school year. I need to talk it out with someone, in fact, but my teaching mentors are either disappointing me or nowhere to be found.

I'm going to take some Target-brand Ny-Quill and go to bed.