My oldest friend, who I only see a few times a year, celebrated her 28th birthday tonight down in DC. She knows me better than most, and, as we were leaving, she asked me to remember the line in Magnolia (my favorite movie) about having a lot of love in my heart and not knowing where to put it. "Yeah," I said. "I know. But you know me. I don't really get out there much." And she hugged me, said I smelled good, and sent me on my way.
It's strange, but I can barely imagine dating someone right now. I've become so particular and selective in my old age that I don't want anything messing up my system right now. I've done a bit of dating this summer, but it's too hard - the pursuing, the forced conversations. I'm just not good at it, and am pretty content with my life as it is, at least for now. It's a bit of selfishness, and honestly, I'd just like to fall into something comfortable, to skip past the awkward stuff where I often fumble. I'm also just not quite in a good place fitness-wise, so my self-confidence isn't what it should be, and I need it in tip-top form because it wavers even when it is.
Still, there's no doubt that I want the married w/ kids thing to happen to me, and this inertia certainly is not helping matters any. This is the reason that I still feel like a fresh start might be what I need. However, I also recognize that this longing feeling is what generally happens around this time - the time of the birthday, the time before the students come back, when my emotions and passions have no outlet. In six weeks, the school year will be in full swing, and (hopefully), I'll be too busy with all of my students to worry about such navel-gazing. And I'll lapse in my single contentment, with only a few lulls into loneliness. And I'll blog about it, because most people who blog about personal matters want some sort of connection with others that they're just not getting in real life.
Woah, depressing. And today was a great day!
By the way, last girl I really dated in Baltimore, at least more than two dates? Just found out she's a lesbian. PerfecT.
Mets Acquire Eric Young Jr., Designate Collin Cowgill - The Mets announced that they have acquired Eric Young Jr. from the Rockies in exchange for right-hander Collin McHugh. In a related move, the Mets have also ...
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