Athletics

I feel like this team has broke my heart already five times this season and it's only May 31. Why did they decide to start sucking right as the Yankmees come to town?

Tomorrow is the longest day of the school year - the Athletic Banquet. I have to give a speech about the baseball team and give awards for MVP, Coach's Award, and Unsung Hero. I'm giving the MVP to a Junior for the first time ever. Traditionally, I give the end-of-the-year awards to seniors, as do most coaches. But I just couldn't give it to any other kid this year. I enjoy the baseball part of the evening because I like talking about my kids but the entire evening takes way too long. They even have dance as a sport. I'll be lucky to get out of there by 10 o'clock.

Graduate School, Take 2

Last year at this time, I was excited about being in the classroom for the first time since college. After the first day of class at Towson, however, I realized I was missing a prerequisite for the course (despite not having any paperwork suggesting this), and had to disenroll.

It's taken me a year to dust myself off and get back on the horse, but today I'm driving all the way to freaking Aberdeen to attend a Towson University MAT course called EDUC 605 (Research and Educational Technology). Sounds like a blast, eh? Wish me luck.

Wow

I am watching what is one of the most exciting baseball games I've ever watched.

The Tigers gave the Yankees a 5-0 lead but have come back to tie it 6-6. They just made it out of the top of the 9th with a play at the plate.

It feels so good to watch games again that matter. I want to weep.

Instead, I've eaten about 15 popsicles tonight. Luckily, I found sugar-free popsicles to quench my craving for eating frozen things in the summer. They are 15 calories each, which is great, although that's sort of negated when you eat 15 of them. And that's only a slight exaggeration.

Wow. Back to the game...

I-Rod, Magglio, and Guillen are up in the bottom of the 9th.

UPdate: Fuck Jason Giambi. Tigers lose. But they're still 18 games over .500.

Extreme heat = Early dismissal

"Somehow, it was hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. Ladies bathed before noon, after their three-o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum." - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

We were dismissed at noon today. It's always a time of drama on hot days like this. Apparently the temperature has to reach 90 degrees by 11am at BWI for an early dismissal to take place. It was 86 degrees at 10am, so it had to raise four degrees in the next hour - and apparently it did, or was close enough for the school system to call it.

I used to think of BCPSS as wimpy for doing this. It got to 90 degrees in Michigan and we didn't get let out early, after all (nor did we have a/c, which we also don't). But it's just not about the a/c - it's mostly the lack of dependable, drinkable water in the schools. There's really no other option than to let the kids out. It was hot as hell this morning. My back was wet with sweat at the end of first period, and by the time second period ended, I had gone through three-quarters of a gallon of water and still felt thirsty.

I also found out my schedule for next year: English I Honors and English III CP. Exactly what I wanted, and exactly my schedule from last year. This gives me a good mix of young and old, and good mix of nerdy and sullen. It also offers me another crack at that Brit Lit curriculum that I finally felt like I "got" towards the end of last year. I'm happy. Not everyone was.

Grading my teaching

These are my grades for myself, based on my own expectations for myself - not comparing myself to other teachers, nor with how I coped with obstacles. Just what I did, regardless of what else was around me.

Year 1: C- (D- in the first semester, B- in the second when I figured out what in the hell I was doing.)

Year 2: A- (I rocked this year. I wrote the 9th grade curriculum, I finally got right the mixture of toughness and empathy that I tried in my first year, my lessons were a lot more effective the second time around. I'm close with a lot of the kids graduating right now - especially Bobby, but also Ebony, Cedrick, D'Andre, Josh, and Demetria - because of it.)

Year 3: B (Had a pretty bad year personally, with the eye surgeries and lawsuit. However, I still think I did pretty well teaching considering my student load doubled from 75 to 150. This was also the first year I held a second job while teaching, and I'm sure that's affected things a bit.)

Year 4: B- (My student load was 170, and I struggled with the new prep of 11th grade. But I think I did a pretty great job with 9th grade Honors, challenging them and myself throughout the year.)

Year 5: C+ (Student load of 166. My worst year since my first. Floating from classroom to classroom has ripped apart a lot of my effectiveness. I still haven't learned the coping or organization strategies needed for it. I have to run down to the copy machine all the time during class because copies have absconded away. My drills - which I always wrote on the board, so I can't when I'm floating, especially with no working overheads - are ineffective and thus my lessons always seem to get off to a bad start. Visual things that I always used to keep myself organized - a homework chart, the word of the day poster, classroom stars - are not there anymore, and my teaching has suffered. In addition, I also don't really think I got close to kids like I have in other years. I feel like I'm just sort of there, assigning work. A lot of the kids I feel closest to this year are my most troubled students, and I don't know if anything I've done is going to keep them at the school. I guess there's still some time to end strong and push myself into the B range. I've started my long process of writing letters to all my students to give to them when they leave after their final, somethign I haen't done in a couple of years, since class load blew open.)

Memorial Day

I'm remembering an old friend and co-worker today: Adrian Butler. Adrian and I were RAs together for two years at Akers Hall at Michigan State University. He was a good guy - honest, hard-working, quiet, funny - and joined the military upon graduation from college in 2000 because he eventually wanted to become an FBI officer. He was killed serving in Iraq on July 27, 2005.


Adrian Butler, 1977-2005

Another link: 720th Batallion.

I'm also remembering my Grandpa, Henryk Antoni __________ (April 17, 1911 - January 26, 1991). Grandpa served in the Polish military in the early 1930s. Before ending his tour of duty in 1936, he was promoted to "Karpal" (Unter offizier.) When Poland mobilized its troops in January 1939, Grandpa got called back for duty. World War II started in the fall of 1939. Luckily, he was spared injury, but his horse, named "Chicha" (Quite) was shot and killed from under him. Dad was taken P.O.W. by the Germans and remained in a POW camp until their capitulation in 1945. After getting married to Grandma (born in 1926, Grandma was a war widow with a young son. Grapndpa was 37, she was 22. She's still alive, but suffers from late-term Alzheimers) in 1948, and moved to Detroit in 1951. He joined the PAVS (Polish-American Veterans) Post 78 in Detroit in January 1952. Grandpa was an active member until his death, when his Veteran Comrades stood Honorguard on his very last march.

During the funeral, my Grandpa's lifelong friend - Mr. Borowski - taped a baggie of dirty to the coffin just before it was lowered. He spoke in Polish, crying over his words. Later, I learned it was dirty from the POW camp, and both men had vowed to bring it back and bury whoever died first with part of it.



Grandma, Grandpa, and me, 1978.

Four Gripes

1. I thought tomorrow, since the best team in all of baseball - my Detroit Tigers - were playing the most notorious team in all of baseball - the NY Yankees - on a National Holiday, then I might be lucky enough to see them on national television in public somewhere. Nope. ESPN is instead showing Poker (not even a sport) and Lacrosse. With as many Red Sox / Yankees matchups that the channel forces on us, I was hoping for a little national TV love. However, ESPN only carries Yankees games when they aren't playing the Tigers. It's part of their continued commitment to not acknowledging Detroit still has a baseball team.

2. The New Yorker ran a review of Mockingbird: A Portrait of Harper Lee that summarily trashes To Kill a Mockingbird. The review is here. I'm not quite sure why a review of a biography of Harper Lee would need such a vitriolic attack on her novel, which stands as one of the great American novels as far as I'm concerned.

3. Why is it the weekend that I have some free time, there's nothing at any movie theater that I want to see? Believe me, I have nothing against popcorn movies, but my vhoices run right now of (A) the third in a trilogy that I never saw the second of; (B) the adaptation of a book I found overrated and predictable, and I assume the filmed version of it is even more predictable since I know the ending of it (and will someone please tell me why this movie is taking up screens at The Charles? This is an independent movie?); or (C) seeing Tom Cruise save the world again. There have been a number of films this year that I've just plain missed that looked really good (Inside Man, United 93, Thank You For Smoking), but now they've been crowded out by these "event" movies. Ugh.

4. When I decide to go to the grocery store at 10:46 pm for lime popsicles, why is it that I must run into students, who laugh and wave and call my name across the store?

Seven Weeks

I want so much for him to just be a happy kid. I want him to come home with a grin on his face, excited about the life he's about to leap into. I want him to relax and not stress out so much.

He came home tonight, though, telling me that the Senior Farewell - a formal ceremony held during the school day that the kids look forward to all year - had been cancelled. He's disappointed. Then, we confirm that graduation is Saturday. But he's not sure if he's going, "becaue no one's going to be there for me anyway."

"I'll be there for you."

He doesn't respond at first. Then, says, "Thanks. Mr. _________" After a couple more moments, he gets up, paces, and says he needs to go for a walk. Or a drive. To clear his head. I ask him if he's alright, he laughs a sad laugh, says he's fine, and then he leaves.

There's nothing wrong with taking a drive at midnight. I've been known to do it. But I wish he was happier. I wish I saw him have some fun sometimes. He's so serious, so methodical, and he's carrying around something that I don't think most people carry. Just this Saturday, he had to attend the funeral of a cousin shot and killed. This has happened to so many people in his extended family that I know he knows he's got to get out of this city as soon as he possibly can. He wants to leave Baltimore and not come back, and I can't say I blame him much. But I need to help ferry him safely there until July 17th, the date he moves in on campus down there.

I worry about him. He's off to college in seven weeks.

Any Given Sunday

1. I think I've decided for sure to take the six credits this summer rather than have a summer job. That means I'll be in class every day from 9-12 once the summer starts and from 4:30-7 starting this week until July 19. After this summer, I'll have 18 credits out of 33 completed in my Master's Program. I'm scheduled to take six more in the fall (Monday nights from 5-9, Saturdays from 9-2), meaning I'll probably be able to have it finished by the end of next summer. This albatross of being the only person in my department except one without a Master's will be eliminated, and I'll look to greater sights - like National Board certification.

2. Tomorrow, I plan on buying a bicycle. I want to use it to get around a lot more than I do now, particularly on the Towson campus this summer where parking is limited. The schedule in my mind for the summer is to drive out to Towson Commons at around 6:30, get my workout on until about 8:30, then bike on over to the Towson campus for my class, leaving my car there parked at Trader Joe's for those three hours. Then, I head back, grab my lunch, putter around Barnes and Noble, and maybe finish off at Bally's whatever sets didn't go as well as I wanted them to go in the morning. I don't know much about buying a bike but will do a little research tonight. Right now I'm planning on getting a cheap one at Target; they have them on sale for $79 or something like that and I don't want to spend a lot of money on something I'm not sure if I'm going to use a whole lot. With a bike, a helmet, and a lock, I hope to get out of there without spending more than I made in tips this weekend.

3. The shift was long and hard today, and I'm definitely sore now. I made $80 working from 9-5, which is pretty low for a full Sunday brunch shift. I still felt busy, but not as much as usual, and those people who came in weren't drinkers. I sold only a handful of bloody marys and mimosas.

4. After the shift, I headed with a co-worker (Polish Girl #2) to The Waterfront Hotel for a drink. I totally could have spent the night drinking with her, but she had to go, so we bid adieu. Calls around to friend found no takers, so, absent a partner in crime, I went home for the evening, caught a nap, and now am about to sit down and watch Coach Carter from Netflix.

Sick call

"Oh, I'm so sorry - I'm in Harper's Ferry right now."

That's what I should have said, but I thought of it about 30 seconds too late when my co-worker called me tonight to ask me to work for her. She was hacking and coughing and slurring, and, knowing her, it could very well have been an episode of binge drinking and smoking rather than what she said it was: an illness. But she said she really needed it, and I. couldn't. say. no.

Right afterwards, I thought of the perfect lie. A day trip to Harper's Ferry that would be believable, in that I work at 9am tomorrow morning so I couldn't be far.

The thing is, I had plans. I was heading over to Ryan's place to watch the Pistons and the Tigers - one on the computer and one on the TV. I haven't seen my friend Ryan much since he had his kid almost a year ago, but had made plans to head over there for a cookout and beers... but, alas, I answered the call of the unrecognized number, and I was doomed in my nice-guy-edness to take the shift of a sick co-worker.

Pissed me right off. Mostly at myself. I should never have answered the phone of an unrecognized number, and I should have just told the freaking truth. "Sorry, Nicky, I can't work for you. I have plans." Whether I'm in Harper's Ferry or not, I shouldn't have worked.

A teacher, with two days left with his students, is forced by the central office to give a last minute standardized test on one of those two days

It was a long week. HSA testings greatly disrupts my life as a teacher. On Monday and Wednesday, I had to teach in different rooms for half the day. On Tuesday and Thursday, the kids taking the HSAs for Biology and Algebra missed my class to take it. The problem is, those classes are semester classes, so some kids had to take it, and some kids didn't. Some classes, I would have 12 kids. Other classes, I would have 3. There were no lists and no way for me, as a teacher, to know who was supposed to be in these tests and who wasn't.

However, I expected that much. This year, it was more disorganized than usual, but there's nothing I can really do about that.

The worst part of the week occurred at about noon today. My department head came in, and told me that she had just received a citywide test from North Avenue that we had to give this coming week. The test is estimated to take ninety minutes. This is the first I've heard of this test!

The issue is, that this is my last week with my kids. The last week. I'm furiously trying to teach them about epic poetry and the Odyssey before the final exam, and I've only got two days left! Using one of them up giving a standardized test when the kids just spent a week testing for the state and when the kids need to be instructed in english is infuriating! Not only that, but it's unprofessional and educationally unsound.

As it stands, my dept head says she hates that we have to do it, but that we have to do what North Avenue says, regardless of how ludicrous it is. She wants us to give the test on Thursday and Friday, the very last day of class before finals. I have no idea what the test is even for.

We're meeting about it on Tuesday, and the union is involved. However, the attitude from the AP when I spoke with her was basically, "Yeah, North Avenue makes me do ridiculous stuff all the time at the last minute, and we just have to do it!" I hope the response on Tuesday is a little bit more with the kids in mind rather than red tape bullshit.

Grrrrr. So mad about this.

Dilemma: Take the summer school job or take courses?

I have a fairly long and disappointing history with Towson University. After sitting on my hands regarding finishing my Master's Degree for my first four years here in Baltimore, I finally talked with Towson about it last year. I was lucky enough to find an advisor from my alma mater, and she streamlined the acceptance of twelve transfer credits from Michigan State into Towson's MAT program. I enrolled in two classes last summer and thought I was on my way to getting that Master's done.

However, I showed up on the first day and it became clear that I needed a prerequisite for the course I signed up for. I checked all my paperwork and the catalog, and there was nothing about this prerequisite anywhere. I double-checked afterwards. This made me mad, and I saw it as an example of poor advising. I emailed my advisor, and she ducked the issue and blamed it on me, and it made me sort of put off. And there was no way she could get me into another class at that point in the summer, so it was a wasted summer in terms of gettign on with my Master's.

However, I was enrolled in classes in the fall, and planned on going to them... until I got a notice of disenrollment from Towson in the mail. Apparently, they neded proof of my vaccination from Mumps, Measles, Rubella, and Tetanus. This was the first I'd heard of it, and it made me mad, but there was nothing I could do about it - I was already disenrolled. Later, I received a bill for the courses I was never allowed to attend, and there was some significant hassle in getting those off my record before they went to collections.

It all made me sort of mad at Towson. All my colleagues who have taken graduate courses haven't encountered all this red tape. Even having the proof of vaccinations is something that neither Loyola or Hopkins do. I also was not very excited about taking Education courses; if I get a Master's, I want it to be in Literature or something.

But this spring, I had an epiphany that those twelve transfer credits from Michigan State were a pretty amazing deal. I have 12 credits of a 34-credit degree done! That's quite a bit of time and money. So I decided to go through the red tape of getting a tetanus shot (ouch!) and tests to see if I'm immune to Mumps and Measles (mom couldn't find the records at home) this week, and today finally was able to get into student enrollment.

Unsurprisingly, with the semester starting next week, there weren't a whole lot of options available. However, there were a few. One of my required courses is Mon-Fri from 9-12 from 6/19 - 7/7. Another one is 4:30-7 on Mondays and Wednesdays from May 23 through July 26. That one's in Aberdeen.

If I take these courses, I won't be able to accept this summer job. If I don't take these courses, that will be one more semester behind in my pursuit of my Master's, which I can probably get done by the end of the summer next year. I have seven courses to take, and if I could knock two of them off right now, that gives me quite a dent in it.

It bums me out that I just took up an hour of these people's lives by going in for a job that I probably won't be able to accept. However, I honestly didn't know this issue would bubble up so vehemently. It's partly poor planning on my part, but the hold really did just come off my enrollment account today. I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do. Can I live eight weeks on $3000? $2066 of that is gone in rent, car, and insurance payments already. I probably wouldn't be able to do things I was hoping to do, like buy Bobby a computer (at least in the summer), fly home for Tiffany's wedding on July 11, or take a summer NYC trip to visit Neil and see a Mets game. However, none of that budgeting is accounting for tips at the restaurant. I've been making at least $100 per shift on Sundays, and will probably pick up a few more shifts in the summer.

Hmmmm. This is a dilemma, but I'm almost sure I know what I have to do. Take courses. It's silly that I'm getting paid a few thousand less than my colleagues who have less experience than I just because of a piece of paper.

Of course, the dilemma could be solved if I don't get the position. However, that would be a blow to the ego and involve a possible awkwardness with a colleague (his sister in law interviewed me). Maybe it's best if I just bow out asap to make it easier for them on their end.

I think I'll sleep on it.

Summer position interview

I interviewed for a summer job today. I wasn't sure there was going to be an interview, let alone one with a principal and two teachers, but that's what it was. One minute, I was rushing inside to "see the school," and the next minute I was sitting at the principal's desk answers questions about my philosophy of education. Still, it went fine.

I'm completely ambivalent right now about the job. It would be a lot of work, and require a time commitment of six weeks of my eight-week summer vacation. It would involve teaching 7th and 8th graders reading and leading them in an extensive video project that will be aired on FOX 45. It would probably involve a lot of out-of-school planning and research. I neglected to ask what the pay was.

On the other hand, from all indications, it's an amazing school - one of those public middle schools that "work," where the parents have to get their kids in via a lottery. The facility was beautiful. The kids all seemed really nice. The budget this program has seems huge, in that the kids get to do things like ride in cranes, go to Six Flags, tour the Domino's Plant, and go to the eastern shore. Their philosophy of education is learning-by-doing, and that's cool. I bet I'd gain some things as a teacher.

The thing is, I don't need the job. I have saved enough money to live on this summer, and will just take some more restaurant shifts to get some spending $$. Not having a job will allow me to travel more home to Michigan (I haven't seen my mom since Christmas, nor a Lake Michigan beach since last summer!), get more reading done (one of my goals for the summer is to read all the books in the English curriculum, as well as read the entire Ernest Gaines catelog). I'm also enrolling in courses at Towson now that silly red tape has been cut through. I want to get in really good shape this summer. Plus, after this school year, I just need a fucking break. Wow.

But having a job would be cool in some ways - development as an educator, making sure I don't drain the nearly $3000 I have in savings over the the summer so I can keep it as a downpayment for a house, new experiences.

So I'm fine either way. If I don't get it, I'll relax a bit this summer. If I get it, I'll work hard but still have a good time. I'm happy with either.

An update

My interactions with Bobby have pretty much been restricted to late night conversations when he comes in at curfew (midnight). Today, he walked in the door, wearing his "Another day, Another struggle" t-shirt, and I asked him if he needed anything.

"You've done more than enough for me," he said, sadly.

I try to get out what's bugging him, and finally do. The ice cream place he worked at fired him for not showing up on the night of his senior prom to work. He worked on Thursday, they posted the schedule on Friday, and prom was on Saturday. He didn't even know he missed the shift until he went in tonight. That does suck. He was hoping that the ice cream place, a chain, would transfer him to the location out at the Univeresity of Maryland so he wouldn't have to find another job there.

He's keeping himself very busy right now. All that's left of his high school career is an essay and one last final, and he's already taking carpentry classes. He wants to learn a trade right now, before he goes to college in mid-July. He spends a lot of time at the library, taking online courses, and a lot of time at the girlfriend's, with whom he has a sweet deal worked out where she gives him her car in exchange for picking her up in the morning. I hope he's happy. He seems halfway there, but tired all the time. I know that combination well.

Ideas I'm considering: throwing him a graduation party and/or buying him a computer for graduation. Maybe I'll just take him out to dinner with the former and offer to pay for a portion of the latter. Dell has sweet deals right now, like always, so I can afford it (although in the summer it gets tough to do so.)

In other news, I have an appointment tomorrow for a summer job as a reading specialist in a cool Baltimore middle school.

Crumbs and Eugenia

Crumbs From the Table of Joy: Awesome. I knew nothing about it going in but it definitely was one of the best plays I've ever seen.

Iggies: Awesome. I had a pizza called Alice and a gilato made from Nutella. Both reminded me of my Italy trip from three summers ago.

The end of my second season of Center Stage's $60/6 show deal is upon us, and, with these last two plays (August Wilson's Radio Golf and Crumbs), it has again proven itself to be one of the best buys in all of Baltimore. The package goes on sale next week, and I highly recommend it. Next season features one of my favorite plays of all time (Death and the Maiden), plus plays by Chechov, Alice Childress, and Eugene O'Neill.

Eugenia Collier's visit to my classes to discuss "Marigolds," writing, and life was a big success. She lives in Catonsville, though, and the commute to get her was murderous. I can't believe that some people have to drive on that beltway every day. If I had to do that, I'd have no hair at all.

Guest speakers and marigolds

1. Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions on the restaurant tomorrow. I believe the boss has decided on Iggie's. Expect a full report in a couple of days. We're seeing "Crumbs From the Table of Joy" tomorrow night. I've heard it's very good.

2. Tomorrow I'm having a guest speaker in my classroom - Eugenia W. Collier, author of the classic short story "Marigolds". It's the second year in a row in which she'll be visiting my classroom, and I'm excited. This means driving across the city to her retirement home, picking her up by 7:15, then driving her into school, providing lunch, then driving her home at the end fo the day. But it's all worth it, and she's a kind woman who the kids generally love to hear talk. I hope I don't work her too hard by asking her to speak to 6 groups of kids; she is 79 years old.

3. I really, really, really want to talk about something top secret, but I can't. Ooh, it's good though. (Actually, not really, but if you know me, ask me.)

4. I am attempting to make a tuna log for my guest speaker tomorrow. My attempts at cooking - or even combinging ingredients, as this recipe calls for - is a drastic change from my usual diet of microwaved veggie burgers and Trader Joe's cereal. I hope I don't screw it up.

A question and a whine

I. Where would you suggest for my friends and I to eat before a show at the Center Stage on Wednesday? Ideally, we'd like to be able to park there and walk to the theater. Restaurants that are out include Copra (they're going there later in the week), The Helmond (we ate there last time), MidTown Yacht Club (I got food poisoning there, then I called them and they told me that I was wrong, I didn't have food poisoning. I could drink beer after beer there, but thinking about eating there makes me nautious), and Sascha's (just kind of boring, and we've eaten there this season already). Ideas?

II. HSA testing week sucks, by the way. However, today I was moved across the building for my first two classes, and the time between first and second period was the first time all year that I didn't have to float between classrooms. It was an amazing feeling. I got to stay there after the bell rang, and say goodbye to all my students. I hd a chance to straighten things in the room. Then, I got to leisurely walk to the door, and stand in the hall while I greeted the next class while they came in. I got to use things I had taken the time to write on the board twice. I didn't feel rushed. I wasn't late.

I will never take having a classroom for granted my entire career. Ever. Floating is the bane of my existence. It has made me as effective as only a first year teacher and greatly contributed to my worst year of teaching yet.

Seis

1. The Tigers just beat the Reds 1-0. It was their 8th shutout this season. They are 29-14 and have the best record in the major leagues.

2. My tattoo has faded too much. It's now no longer navy blue, but royal blue, or even UNC blue. When Fool and I head back to Read Street Tattoo sometime this spring, I'm going to have to ask Doug about darkening it or adding some black stripes to it or something.

3. Getting the tattoo has been my favorite decision of the last year.

4. I was so grouchy at work today that my co-worker asked me if I was on the rag.

5. Why was I grouchy? I went out to eat and ate way too much, then went to prom and stayed way too late, then got a phone call to meet an old, old friend from Michigan who was driving from Richmond to Michigan and saw a sign for Baltimore and called me. He needed a place to stay, so we met up at Hull Street Blues, had a couple of beers, and then headed back to my place with his wife. We in at 1:40. I had to set my alarm for 6am so I could see them off. The kid came home from post-prom at 3am. Needless to say, my night's sleep was not a restful one.

6. I really wish I could link to this other kid's blog, but doing so would immediately reveal where I work. But he's such a good writer that his has become my favorite blog. It's also because he has this balls-to-the-wall, doesn't-care-about-naming-names thing that comes from being 17 years old. For example, he's been writing about this girl he's been in love with for a couple of years. Today, he decided to begin a series of apologies to people he has wronged in high school, sort of reminiscing and looking back at the bad things he's done in his youth. He started with her. This post today had a photo of the two of them, then went into a long letter about how he's sorry he's embarassed her, about how he's sorry he's given her unwanted attention, etc, etc, and then comes the whammy: "My feelings have gotten the best of me several times involving you. For example, the most recent time, when I tried to kiss you at Prom about 6 hours ago." I mean, that line is funny, and not only because I was at the said prom. I feel a little bad for the kid, but he's so intelligent that he'll get through it. Anyhow, a search.blogger.com search would definitely be worth it for finding his writing.

Senior prom

He just left for his senior prom, his goofy ivory suit making him look a little like a train conductor, and making him appear way skinnier than he actually is. His curfew tonight is 4:30, giving him an hour to get home after the post-prom party at Hard Rock Cafe. As long as he's not drinking or trying to drive drunk, I'll be happy. We've never actually talked about drinking, and it wouldn't surprise me if he's never drank before. He's pretty straight-laced for a kid whose spent time in jail a few years ago.

I'm right behind him out the door, as I'm attending my first prom as a teacher at my school - along with three other teachers on a "double date". I'm bringing my camera and wearing a suit. We're going to Ze Mean Bean for dinner on the way. Should be a good night. Because any night with hriby dip is a good night.

Cell phone gift

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Epiph>Hi there, I was hoping to add a member of my household to my plan by purchasing him a phone.

Sherell>You are able to do this online. Do you know which phone and rate plan you want?

Epiph>Well, I already have my own rate plan, but don't know how to add a second person to it. I just clicked through a bunch but didn't see any for two parties.

Sherell>Which rate plan do you currently have?

Epiph>Let me look it up on my account
Epiph>national instant connect 500

Sherell>Is this a family plan?

Epiph>no
Epiph>i'm single, but want to get a 17-year old kid a cell phone as a gift

Sherell>Then you would not be able to add someone to this rate plan. You would need to choose a separate rate plan for the additional line.

Epiph>ok

Sherell>Have you decided on a phone?

Epiph>no. i thought it was going to be a lot simpler than that. i may go ahead and change to verizon.

Sherell>It is very simple. I can assist you with the process if you would like.

Epiph>Well, in general I have not been very happy with Nextel in the Baltimore area, and the only reason I renewed my first contract was because because I had a theft of my last phone and had to sign on for another two year deal. If getting this kid a phone means I have to get a whole new separate plan for him, I might as well go with a cheaper option with another company, unless you can talk me into it otherwise. I'm a teacher about to go two months without a paycheck and was hoping to add a line to my account and be done with it.

Sherell>We have The Sprint Fair & Flexible 200 Plan includes 200 Anytime Minutes, Unlimited Nights & Weekends starting at 7pm, Domestic Long Distance, Voicemail, Caller ID and Unlimited Nationwide Walkie Talkie for only $29.99. You may also add on Unlimited Local Walkie Talkie minutes for just $5 more per month.

Sherell>This may be a good plan for him.

Sherell>Does it seem to fit your needs?

Epiph>How long must I sign up for?

Sherell>It would be a two year contract.

Epiph>Let me do a bit of research this weekend and figure it out. Frankly, though, I doubt I'll be coming back to Nextel if it means two more years of dealing with the company.

Goodbye TV shows

The West Wing ended on Sunday. I was able to catch most of the episode, and I'd been watching the show a bit recently after years away from it. The characters were all given dignified exits, and, to be honest, I'd totally make an appointment to watch episodes of a Jimmy Smits White House if they decided to ever turn that into a series. The show is ending on an upswing, and that's great for the show after some tough times in midlife. I think that, in its prime, The West Wing was one of the greatest TV shos in television history. It built on Aaron Sorkin's unique way of dialogue that he started with on the equally impressive (but criminally ignored) Sports Night, and added some much needed idealism and common sense to the national political arena. Often, Martin Sheen was the American President that I wish we could have - someone strong yet caring, smart yet folksy, liberal and unashamed. In a country so in need of heroism, this fictional character provided it more than most real people in or near his position. Some episodes were so well-acted and well-written that they felt like the work of a great political novel, like All the President's Men. Someday, I'll watch all the old episodes again, like ones I remember years later, like when Edward James Olmos' character was up for the Supreme Court, or the episode in which Mrs. Van Landingham died.

Another longtime show I watched a lot, Will and Grace, ended last night. It's a bit of an end of an era for me. In college, the guys' floor would get together with our sister floor and watch the entire NBC Thursday night lineup - watching Friends, Will and Grace, ER< and usually just talking or drinking during whatever crap they were showing in between these shows. ER is still on now, I guess, but the cast is almost completely different, so I think that Will and Grace is pretty much the end of that. I honestly haven't watched the show in quite some time, at least not in prime time, and I sort of lost some interest when it became guest star central, but it rarely failed to make me laugh. I think we're in a pretty terrible age for sitcoms right now - I admit I laughed at the one episode of The Office I've watched, and the cartoons on Sunday night still provide some good satire - but otherwise sitcoms are pretty bad right now. However, the characters and writing on Will and Grace were well-drawn and hilarious. I couldn't believe what that show got away with half of the time. The cast had some of the best actors on TV, and I'm glad they were able to be on the air this long.

Save a ballfield in Baltimore City

From Baltimore Diary. You knew I'd have to pass on anything that might help baseball in Baltimore City...
***
Briggs & Stratton is sponsoring a program called “Diamonds in the Rough”. The prize is $20,000 and a baseball clinic from Lou Brock and Carlton Fisk.

One of the finalists is a student from the Westport/Mt. Winans area of Baltimore, named Andre. The ballfield in that neighborhood is in terrible shape because it’s been essentially abandoned by Baltimore’s Parks and Recreation Department. It’s full of potholes and, when it rains, the puddles remain for at least a day, which prevents play. This neighborhood adjoins mine and I've seen this field. It's just plain sad that the one place that these kids have (the Rec Center was closed three years ago) is in such poor condition. If you look at the photo on Briggs & Stratton's website (link below)...that's a flattering photo. Get the idea?

If Andre wins, the $20,000 will go a long way toward restoring the neighborhood’s baseball field. There are many fields in this town that are the envy of their surrounding communities. These kids want a playable surface and I can't help but get behind that. Click on the link below to vote for Cummings Field.

I thank you on behalf of Westport and Mt. Winans.

http://briggsdiamonsintherough.com

Letters

The week so exhausted me that I did not organize or attend a Happy Hour. I feel like just going to the gym tonight, coming back all sweaty, and watching baseball. So sue me. Tomorrow is senior prom and I think I'm going to go to support Bobby and the rest of the senior class. Today, by the way, was the last day for seniors, so I've pretty much dodged any repercussions with my school for what I'm doing (although I think they're officially still students until they walk).

Teacher appreciation week was three weeks ago. These are three of the letters I got. They're good to read at the end of weeks like this. The first is from Ebony, who I had as a near silent 9th grader. I let her hang out in my room during lunch period because she was deathly afraid of the cafeteria. I convinced her to become involved in the poetry event I helped organize at the MD Science Center, and she performed her poem in front of an audience of 150. She's now a senior, graduating in just a few days. The second is sophomore Diamond, who is the single funniest student I've ever had. She's like a miniature woman, standing in at 4'6" with all the exaggerated mannerisms of a "you go girl" type of adult woman. She's also got the sharpest wit I've ever encountered, but has a soft center that needs hugs and reassurement often. The last one is from "Bobby," two weeks before he got kicked out of his house.


Over the years, even though you were no longer my teacher, I have still admired you as a teacher. You have remained my favorite teacher because you are the one who believed in me the most. In my opinion, I have become a better student with your help because I believe in myself more and always try to do my best no matter waht. There are a lot of times when I want to give up but I don't because I know I want to go somewhere with my life. It's as if my motivation comes from people that I know expect me to do well and don't pressure me about doing/getting something done. The think I wanted you to know most was how great a teacher you are. You are very nice and always willing to help out with anyone's problems. IF it was not for some of your help, I probably would still be looking for a place to finish my community service. The thing I like most is how the majoirty of the time you greet people with a warm smile. In addition, you are very down to earth. There are not that many teachers that I feel comfortable talking to about anythign that may be bothering me just for advice. Mr. Epiph, I want to thank you from teh bottom of my heart for always being there and helping to keep me on my feet. Love, Ebony

**

I know that the last time you taught me the x, y, z method, or read Romeo and Juliet with me or read my essays was last year, but I still refer to you as my favorite teacher. You laugh at all my funny jokes and I laugh at all your "funny" jokes, and you just a cool teacher. When all my teachers in freshmen year were big bad wolves, you were my little white riding hood. Forget that, that made no sense. Anyway I just wanted to say that I appreciate you if even though you don't teach me anymore, thanks for being a special teacher to me. Love, Your Amigo, Diamond.

**

For the past four years, you have supported me in absolutely everything I have done. You were the only person to take time to understand me as much as possible. You pushed me and did everything possible to keep me on track and to get me where I am today. Everyone else (like my coach and others) tried to do surface things for their own images, but you took care of all the behind scenes as well as surface things. I would never ever repay you for the things you have done. The best thing I can think of is to succeed. My success will show you that your aid wasn't in vain. So thank you Mr. () from the bottom of my heart. I love you. Sincerely, Bobby "Enigmatic" (last name)

Another lazy numbered post about senior prank day, 8th grade orientation, and other shit

1. Tonight was orientation for incoming 8th graders, and I spoke at the event about summer reading. I kicked myself afterward about seeming like too much of a hard ass, without adding much positive ("And, you know what else, kids? These are really good books!" rather than "If you do not do your summer reading, you will fail first quarter" was not quite my exact quote, but my intimation).

2. Orientation somehow makes me excited about next year, despite hella problems at my school right now. If I can say that I love my school with everything that is occurring right now having to do with things that I would love to write about here but cannot, then I must really love my school.

3. Today was day one of what will probably be two days of senior pranks. Besides a lot of eggs and water balloons being thrown, someone brought in a crate of live crabs and released them in the halls. At the end of the day, a girl gathered up the still-alive crabs to take them home and steam them. Very resourceful.

4. My living situation remains the same. It is going fine. The guardian has given him permission to stay wherever he is at, but assumes he's at a girlfriend's house. She really doesn't seem like she cares much. He's off doing laundry now. I asked him if he knew how, and he told me he's been doing his own laundry as long as he remembered. He's never had to laundromat it, though. I gave him ten bucks to do it. I also need to get a solid meal in him sometime this weekend.

5. I am so, so tired, all the time. I really need to slow down.

6. Postsecret, which I think most people know is one of the greatest sites on the internet, is especially affecting this week. Wow. I'm still out of breath after reading the secrets this week. And think I'm going to call my mom.

O's Game

I went to my second Orioles game of the season tonight. Both nights have been great games and great times. The first was a loss for my Tigers, but still a good game, while this one was an awesome victory over the Red Sox. The stadium was, as usual, filled halfway with Red Sox fans, and it's nice to get a victory for the Os in that situation. One woman in front of us even had a sign that said Fenway South. That pissed me right off.

I love some of the traditions at Os games - the shouting of "O" during the national anthem, the crab scramble, the flashing E in "The Sun" sign - but hate "Cotton Eyed Joe." I'd rather listen to "YMCA" over and over and over again than hear "Cotton Eye Joe" and see everyone dance to it. Both games this season, I've left for food during the 7th inning stretch, and today I recognized it as a defense mechanism so I wouldn't have to be in the stands during that performance.

Speaking of food, I found out today that they serve Veggie Burgers at the stadium! I don't know how long they've done that, but I've been going pretty regularly for a few years now and I've never seen this booth before. It's right by section 33, where I very well might never have been before. It was sort of crushed and cold, but much better than another boring pretzel with mustard.

Lastly, since this is a baseball related post, I have to point out to everyone that the Detroit Tigers have the best record in all of the major leagues at this moment.

Just a couple today

1. Well, we lost our first and last playoff game. The opposing team just dominated us. It's what I expected, having heard this team is a great one, and the scouts in the stands to watch that other team confirmed it. We managed just two hits and were beaten 10-0. Apparently the game was discussed on talk radio in a feature about the opposing team, about how quick the game was. Oh well. We were definitely short handed and that was part of it, but there's no getting around that they were a better team than us.

2. All day long today, I've felt a buzzing on my leg. For the first few times, I thought it was my cell phone on vibrate, but my cell phone was no in my pocket. Now, I have no idea what it is but it's sort of weirding me out. I looked online about "symptoms: leg buzzing" and the things that were coming up - MS, Lyme's Disease - seemed much more severe than what this feels like it could possibly be.

Cognitive Dissonance

The Tigers are now 24-13 and have a .649 winning percentage with the season a quarter of the way done. They have the second best record in the major leagues, behind only the world champion Chicago White Sox (who have played more games). If the season ended today, the Tigers would be the wild card winner in the AL, and if they were in any other division than the (ahem) toughest in baseball (I'll admit, arguably), then they would be the favorites to win.

And their schedule so far? Not so easy. The Tigers have played 23 road games and the White Sox have played just 18. Boston has played just 19, and the Yankees have played just 17. In fact, the Tigers have played the most road games in the majors other than the Washington Nationals.

It's really created some cognitive dissonance for me. Gosh I miss the good old days, like the stretch between the last part of 2002 and the first part of 2003 when the Tigers went 9-55. Nothing says quality baseball like a .141 winning percentage. Now they go out and act like they're good or something.

I am not thinking that they will keep it up the whole way. They will hit some tough parts. But the lineup is rock solid (and at least three everyday players still haven't gotten right yet) and the pitching is #1 in ERA, starters' ERA, and bullpen ERA. They could legitimately remain contendors until the end. And I'll savor every moment.

Strange Monday

One of my best players showed up in a sling today, the victim of a home plate collision in a game over the weekend. What a bummer. He's definitely one of my favorite kids of all time and he's disappointed to say the least. So am I, because my great switch of his position from catcher to second base will not occur until next year, his senior year. Our playoff game against one of the best teams in the state was scheduled for today. It was rained out and will be played tomorrow. It's postponing what is probably an inevitable loss, but we'll see.

It was a strange day. I tried to pin down my department head about what I'm teaching next year, and she told me that she didn't have much of an idea, and then told me how everything is out of whack. Apparently one of my colleagues in my department has resigned but has not told anyone, and that's making things out of whack. That, and apparently the principal is going to greatly increase the size of our 9th grade class. I'm sure that will make class size even bigger than it is now.

She then told me she wanted to talk with me this week about becoming a department head, about being ready for the job within two years. That was clear out of the blue. Little does she know that I don't have much interest in becoming a department head and dealing as an administrator, at least in this school system. They have to shovel so much crap at their teachers and act like it's a good idea. However, it was still a compliment.

During first period, I had almost a completely wasted day. We read "Harrison Bergeron," which is a great little short story, but did hardly anything with it because I was looking for a couple of important papers that I absolutely needed right that moment. I never found them, and that worries me. Plus, kids are very loud in the hallways these days and I had to leave the classroom three times to deal with loudness, obscenity, and yet another setting of a fire. This one was minor and we did not evacuate the building, but the fire department had to come and check things out.

As a colleague said, she's half hoping for more fires, because then finally someone maybe will be motivated to do something about the huge amounts of kids who are roaming the hallways without supervision or passes. To say our administration is ineffectual is an understatement. Incompetent might be the word of choice here.

Making curfew

Continuing from previous posting... I've deleted it to be safer.

The kid in my basement

A lot has happened in the last two hours. For example, I deleted this entry.

Plans change

The plan last night was to meet up with some colleagues from work at Cross Street Market, have some dinner and drinks, and then head to the game.

What actually happened was sitting at Thirsty Dog for five hours, eating pizza and drinking beer and playing the game where you guess what the next song will be.

It was a pretty great night. Way better than a freaking Royals game.

Better.

I just worked out for 90 minutes and it's made me so happy that I can't complain about my job right now.

Plus, I had a pretty good day.

Some highlights:

1. The boys in my 5/6B class like to make "Yo Mama" jokes. One boy found out the first names of two of the other kids' mothers. I never heard him using them in vain, but the other two kids were really insistent on finding out his mother's name - to make it even. The kid was teasing them a little bit, telling them it started with a "C." This went on for a bit, the kids guessing names that begin with C, until I decided that I was curious, so I went and looked in my parental notification cards. Her name is Coretha. I told the two boys that I knew, and then they tried to get me to say it for the rest of class. I never did, but they got me (at Malcolm's permission) to give them a couple more hints - that the second letter was "O" and that there were 7 letters. I laughed a lot during that period. (Uh, some learning occurred in that class, as well.) They never guessed it. When I got home this evening, I had a message from Keith in my Myspace mailbox asking me, "Mr. (Epiph), Please please please tell me Malcolm mother's name." My reply will probably be something like, "How could you e-mail your English teacher something and not use apostrophes correctly?". I really like Keith. He went from a 55 in the first quarter to an 80 in the 2nd quarter. His grade was in the 70s in the 3rd quarter, but he's going for an 89 this quarter. I know, I know, I don't know why he doesn't shoot for a 90, either.

2. A girl in my first period class said, "Hey, Mr. (Johnson)", referring to me by the same name as another young white male teacher that she has. This guy is a friend of mine, and despite our being pretty much the exact same age (he was born 8/13/77, I was born 8/15/77), we look nothing alike. For one thing, he's 6'2, I'm 5'10. But this sort of thing happens all the time, and occasionally I joke something like, "Oh, you must think all white people look alike," but other times I just annoyedly say, "That's not my name." Anyhow, another girl said, "Dag! Why do you always call him that?" and another one said, "Yeah, he don't even look like him anymore, with that big old bald head." I ignored that last comment, not knowing who said it, but secretly I was thinking, "Geez, I know my hair is thinning and that I just gave myself a haircut over the weekend, but I didn't think I could be classified as bald yet!" Come to find out a few minutes later that this colleague of mine actually did shave his head completely bald over the weekend; I just hadn't seen him yet. That made me feel happy. It wasn't my big old bald head they were referring to. It was his. Phew!

3. By the way, I've got a lot of respect for the guy. I wish I had the guts to do that. Unfortunately, I think I'll look like Uncle Fester when I'm bald.

4. I'm reading my Cisneros pastiches and they are phenomenal. I mean, not all of them, but the ones that are good, are really good. One girl wrote one about a little girl during the Holocaust. My boss liked it so much that she's using it in a presentation tomorrow to other teachers in the city. I read another amazing one today from a student I was not expecting to thrive with this assignment, but she did - it's the best thing she's written all year. I'm publishing them all together in a little book; I think I'm going to price it at Kinko's. Seven pages per kid and 50 kids makes for a 350 page book. If I get it bound at Kinko's, I wonder how much it would set me back for 50 of them? Maybe I could ask the kids to throw in a dollar each, and that might even cover it.

5. Rain, rain, go away. Had to cancel practice tonight and the Orioles/Tigers game was rained out.

Blog, I wish I could quit you

1. Yes, that was me tonight at Kooper's Tavern in Fell's Point, grading papers at the bar while watching the O's/Tigers game. The only Tigers games I can't watch on MLBtv are Orioles games, since they're blacked out, so I had to head somewhere else to watch the game.

2. I'm in quite a funk lately, mostly due to my lack of fitness. For some reason, I'm avoiding the gym lately like anathema. This is so counterintuitive to how I need to live (going to the gym = feeling healthy = eating healthy = feeling happy) that I don't know what's going on. Life is so busy right now with baseball season, but I've got to stop making that excuse. I feel like a lard ass.

3. We drew the toughest possible opponent for playoffs. On Monday, we're playing a team that is probably going to win the State championship in baseball this year, on the strength of a pitcher who apparently throws in the high 80s and is going to be drafted out of high school. We're already at a severe disadvantage when we play county teams (mostly they've played together their whole lives, their facilities are way better, they have more access to summer leagues and programs, dads that play catch starting when a kid is five years old, etc), so this is disheartening. Oh well, it was a decent season. We're having a bunting practice tomorrow to try to devise some strategies against really tough pitching like this.

4. I've never encountered a case of teacheritis so strong in my five year career. I'm attributing it all to floating from classroom to classroom and incompetence above me at multiple levels. I need a break. Summer couldn't come quick enough.

5. I often think about not posting for a day, but end up sitting down at the computer before bed, and some surfing generally leads to some posting, despite my not really having much to say. Numbered blog posts almost always donote laziness in the writer, and that's certainly the case tonight. But it's tough to even go a day away from this daily reflection on my day's activities. It's my contented sigh after a long ass day. And, frankly, I don't think I could quit doing it even if I tried.

Camden Yards Trip

I decided to splurge and took three of my baseball players / students to the ballgame tonight. I decided to invite the last three kids in the locker room to the game at 6pm, and after phone calls home to mom and permission was granted, we headed down there. It was my first trip to Camden Yards this year, and I again marvelled at how fun going to baseball games is in this city. The three kids were great company, and we took turns trashtalking each other's teams.

The results sucked for me and my Tigers, but the game was still a good one - exciting late-inning heroics, and lots of home runs. We stood in the right field landing zone and had a great time. I hope to make all three games of this series, but I'm not sure if I have the energy.

I just drove all around Baltimore dropping them off, and got in pushing midnight. I'm tired and will be tired tomorrow - and my lesson plan for first period is only half formed in my head - but it was worth it. Good times.

Thoughts...

...On Music
1. The new Springsteen albums sounds great. I love how loose it sounds; at times, the Boss is just wheezing through the song, out of breath. It has the vitality of live performance.

2. I finally have found The Grey Album online - you know, the mix of Jay-Z's The Black Album and The Beatles' The White Album. I've listened to it enough now to say it while knowing it's not just the novelty of it: this is brilliant stuff. Some songs become so powerful in their new coronation that I get goosebumps down my spine.

3. It's hard to hear it now, but Jewel used to be a pretty good songwriter and performer. I've followed her career for a decade now, and when she started off, I was just learning the Internet and ended up becoming a fan that way. Her albums have never really shown it, but some live bootlegs that floated around during that time showed her to be a Springsteen-esque rocker with clever wordplay and great vocals. (Bob Dylan, who she toured with, used to love her song "Sometimes It Be That Way.") Only on a few tracks - like her hit song "Standing Still" - has it ever come across on CD, and I just listened to a few tracks on I-Tunes from her new album, and it's unlistenable. She's derailed her career by her spirtuality makeover, and then her poetry makeover, and then her pop makeover, and she's never really been what she seemed like she was when she came up - a great songwriter. A wasted talent.

4. Ray Lamontagne is coming to Baltimore, performing at Pier Six. However, he's opening for Guster. I graduated from college five years ago, thanks. I still might go, because I'm hankering for some live music, but I don't want to spend 25 bucks to see Lamontagne sing five songs, so I've got to do some research to see how long he's onstage and stuff like that.

...On Baseball

1. The Tigers lost a series to the Minnesota Twins, but they're still 20-12. That's the most games they've been over .500 since 1993. I'm loving it. They're in Baltimore tomorrow and I think I'm going to make it. I even have a date for the game on Thursday.

2. I just traded Miguel Tejada for Bubba Crosby, Dontrelle Willis, and Danny Baez in my fantasy league. That's the most blockbuster trade I've ever made. I basically think Tejada and Crosby will put up similar numbers the rest of the way. Tejada will definitely have more power, but he's gotten off to such a great start that he'll have to even off a bit to get down to his career norms. Plus, I think he might sulk as the year goes on. Yup, I'm justifying it to myself.

3. The Orioles' ERA is 5.70. So much for that Leo Mazzone magic.

...On Television

1. I used to teach with Ed Burns. Here is his interview about teaching, in preparation for The Wire's upcoming season. If you haven't heard, it's focusing on the school system in Baltimore.

2. According to her blog, production has wrapped on the series.

3. I don't actually watch TV, although I did grade in front of an episode of The Family Guy last night.

Regular season over

The game was - inexplicably, since we had a healthy two-hour practice after hearing the news - rained out today, and we finish the season at 8-7. It's funny how history creates itself. During this season of frustration, I never would have imagined that our record could be that decent. But in the sands of time, like even next year, I'll just remember it as an 8-7 season, and nothing more. It's not 11-5, like it was last year, but 8-7 is pretty darn good considering all the shit that we went through this year. Heading into playoffs, we have a decent shot of beating a team in the first round before our inevitable loss in the second round.

The last few practices have been a lot of fun, too, complete with laughter, skills building, and no inactivity. I've had some rough times as a coach this year, but the season is ending well. I can't complain about too much right now. I sure hope they figure out a way to make up that game, though. I've got a new keystone combination that I've got to try in a game before the season ends.

Saddest story in Baltimore right now

There's not a sadder story in Baltimore right now than the 14-year old girl who died from electrocution because she put her foot on a fence to stretch before a softball game. It was at Druid Hill Park, and they have no idea what happened. Maybe it was an underground power line. What a freak, tragic accident.

The girl's name has not been released yet as far as I can see, and since she'e 14, I'm in a little bit of a state of fear that I'll get to school today and find out bad news that she was a student at our school. However, either way this is a sad, sad story. It will be tough going to today's baseball game and holding my tongue when I see kids touch the fence, even if I know it's irrational.

No such luck

I went out to my car today, about an hour after arriving home from a spectacularly exhausting 9-5 brunch shift. I opened my trunk, and my briefcase with all my papers to grade was gone! My mind raced. Where could I have left it? Is it on the baseball field? In my office? In the locker room? Then I became relieved. No grading tonight and no guilt, since I can't grade! Woo-hoo! Goodbye, "Identify an example of soliloquy from Romeo and Juliet" and hello, The West Wing and Family Guy!

I slammed the trunk and started bounding inside, when I caught something in the corner of my eye in my backset. It was my briefcase, bulging with papers, behind the passenger seat of my car. I hadn't forgotten or misplaced it, after all.

Oh well. I had lost the game. I grabbed the briefcase, headed in, and proceeded to grade several stacks of Romeo and Juliet tests and House on Mango Street pastiches. At least the latter are pretty good.

Brick

I saw Brick at The Charles tonight. What a cool, funny, trippy, and suspenseful little movie. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's the best movie I've seen in a theater in ages!" and then I realized, well, it has been ages since I've been to the movies. What was the last one? Syriana? Match Point? Brokeback Mountain? I don't know. It's definitely been a couple of months. I seem to have missed both Inside Man and Thank You For Smoking, two recent movies I was pretty excited about. I want to see United 93 (but definitely have to be in the mood), and probably would see the new Mission Impossible as well.

Baseball season is winding down, though, so I feel like I can finally have a bit of a life. It started this weekend, as my only restaurant shift is Sunday (9-5) and I actually went out and about both nights. Plus I got quite a bit of grading, reading, and planning done in the downtime.

Love thy neighbor

Spent the evening last night sitting outside at Duclaw Brewing Company, a bar in an area of Fell's Point where I rarely venture. That will now change, though, as Duclaw proved itself a great place to sit outside on a Friday night and enjoy some beverages. It wasn't crowded, it was pretty cheap (beers were under $3 for Happy Hour, and under $4 for non-Happy Hour, and my tuna steak sandwich was under $10), and the service was alright.

By "alright," I guess I mean it was weird as hell. Our server was an awkward kid who came and interrupted us way too often, nervously stuttered a lot, and told a very awkward story to my collegue in a wheelchair about his girlfriend who had fallen from a balcony and became paralyzed. Still, his heart was in the right place, and it's better to err on the side of being around a table too much than being around it not enough. I'm probably the pickiest diner in Baltimore when it comes to service, but I'm also the pickiest about giving a fair tip, so we treated him well and he was gracious. We joked amongst ourselves that we would come back in a month to see his development as a waiter.

I walked around Fell's Point enough to sober up, stopping by my place of secondary employment for some coffee and dutch apple cake. It was a busy night in the bars, but it wasn't crazy - it all looked fun. It made me want to sit in a bar and watch a baseball game tonight, and I'm going to do my best to find a place to do it. Either that, or Mission Impossible 3, which I've been invited to. MI:3 is about 5th on my list of films to see right now in theaters, though, and I'm not too excited about another big summer movie starring Tom Cruise. I want to see Inside Man, United 93, and Brick all before the big summer event movie.

When I returned home this morning my gym, my neighbor - a strange old man who I've spoken to hardly at all in the five years I've lived here, though I know his name is Tim and we've always been friendly - said to me, "Hey (Epiph)! How are you doing?" Then, he said, "Have you ever heard of the Ten Commandments?"

I didn't think I had heard him right, so I asked him to repeat himself. I had heard him right. "Uh, yeah," I said, cautiously.

"Oh really? Where have you heard about them?"

"Uh, the Bible. Church. You know...," I said, wondering what in the hell he's getting at.

"Yup, the Bible is a good source of information, isn't it?", he replied, and I had no idea what to say except, "Yup," and I was out of there. He was very creepy about how he said it.

I'm hoping he's just trying to evanglize me, because I thought he was going to go into some sort of "Love Thy Neighbor" thing and work it into why I should mow my lawn more often. He's outside washing his car right now in front of mine, and I'm literally waiting for him to get done before I leave.

Pitcher's Duel

For baseball practice, I had to compete with the faculty/student basketball game and burgeoning senioritis of some of my key players (they only have 9 days left), so I had only 16 kids show up today. I decided to be all-time pitcher and have the 16 kids there scrimmage.

It was a lot of fun, except I threw about 120 pitches (fastball, curve, slider) and now my arm is about to fall off. I also hit five kids, but all with breaking pitches.

Team A won 3-1 over Team B. It was a pitcher's duel against myself.

I'm sore as all get out right now. The kind of soreness that can only be eased by a few cold ones. I'm off to Fell's Point to get in a little trouble this evening.

Great practice

It was hot today at practice, so a few kids took off their shirts, including Kendall, who was pitching.

Student 1: "Dag, boy, put your shirt back on. I can see your ribs, yo!"

Student 2: "You look like you're from Africa! I feel like I should throw 30 cents a day at you for the next month just so you can eat!"

Student 1: "Yeah, did you have to kill an elephant as your rite of passage in your village?"

Student 3: "Naw, I had to drill your mom, though. From behind."

Student 1: "Are you saying my mom looks like an elephant?"

Student 3 makes a noise like an elephant and laughs and laughs and laughs. Everyone does.

(Yup, I definitely get a different earful from these kids out on the athletic field than I do in the classroom.)

***

Today's practice was the funnest and funniest of the season. It's a good reminder that I should keep a small, small team of 15 next year and not my usual 22. Everyone had something to do and everyone was happy. I also think I have found a keystone combination at second base that is going to work very well. Too bad we just have two games left. For some reason, I was putting my two best players at catcher and left field (and pitcher). I'm putting them now at SS and 2B. The two have great chemistry. Now I just have to find another catcher. I've got one for tomorrow, but he's graduating and heading to Duke next year.

Here I am talking about next year. I guess I'm coming back after all.

So the day ended great, despite it being a classroom day from hell. There was a fire set in the cafeteria, and we were all evacuated for 80 minutes. It was sort of nice being outside in the beautiful weather, but we were all expecting to be let go, but they sent us back in the building after the fire fights blew all the smoke out with a gigantic fan. So I got the kids that were left and didn't sneak off to go home and started taking our big unit test. Then there was another fire set in the two boys' bathrooms during 6th period. The fire bells had not been reset so the building was only half evacuated by the teachers who knew what was going on. It was a ridiculous, embarassing day, and one not handled well by the people in power. I almost cancelled practice because of the crazy day, but decided against it - the best baseball decision I'd made in weeks. The practice has revived my spirits and made me excited about finishing off the year strong.

After tonight

The Detroit Tigers have the best record in baseball. Ten games over .500 in May in the toughest division in baseball. This is awesome.

Oops

Don't you hate it when you make a top-secret blog (...) and then you accidentally leave a comment on your easy-to-trace blog (this one) while still signed in under that other account?

I realized it right away, so catasrophe averted. Hopefully.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that other thing. It's making me feel a little better, but not much and I doubt it will be effectual either way. Maybe I can get someone else to run it. I'll have to brainstorm.

Is it summer vacation yet?

He's all grown up

Tonight, the student that changed my life was honored for receiving the scholarship that will change his life. I got to be there, at the University of Maryland campus, and it was a great day.

I've realized that one thing that makes me emotional is hearing about kids who are going to be first-generation college students. As the speaker said, these students are making a new legacy and a new life for their families. Seeing these young men and women from the streets of Baltimore get scholarships to go to college makes me believe that the Horatio Algar idea of the American Dream can come true in select situations. "Bobby" was born poor and black to a couple of asshole biological parents and grew up in a neighborhood with little but drugs and crime around him, he was still able to make it this far. It makes me not only proud of him, but proud to be part of a process that can make it happen for him, and, heck, even proud to be an American.

Bobby's presentation was the last of 14. I told him they saved the best for last. Later, I chuckled with him at the presenter's change of his diction - he had wrote that he started a marching band of "ex-drugdealers" and she changed it to "wayward youth" - and got goosebumps when the presenter mentioned the word "redemption" when describing Bobby's experience.

I felt so drawn into all of these kids' stories (including immigrant stories, stories of kids from families of ten, almost all will be first generation college students), that it was a very emotional afternoon for me. I felt bowled over. After the presentation, a woman came up to me and asked if I was the teacher who wrote the longest recommendation she had ever read. I smiled, and said that must be me, and she then told me that she knew my alter-ego. I had a feeling that a reader had a connection with the university, judging from some very knowing comments that have been left on this blog. She smiled, said my secret was safe with her, and I went over to hug Bobby.

I gave his great aunt a ride to the place, and the three of us drove back to Baltimore (the drive took well over an hour because of an accident that backed up traffic for hours), where we talked about college life and Bobby's plans. Bobby has recently decided to live with my baseball team captain, a decision that I'm happy with. They're not close friends, but they're friendly acquaintances, and both are decent, hard-working kids - not partiers. I think the match will work great. Bobby has decided he won't wrestle his freshmen year, but thinks he's going to do marching band. He doesn't have a computer yet but I'm going to help him out to get one. He's going to fix up his old bike to ride around campus. He's going to need to buy a fan because his dorm isn't air-conditioned. He is interested in hall government. He's onhis way.

Bobby's growing up.

Most Involved and Most Pissed Off

Today, I found out I was voted by the Seniors as "Most Involved Teacher." I think this is pretty cool, especially since I teach all 9th graders so usually these awards voted for by Seniors are skewed towards teachers of upperclassmen. But they remember me, I guess, or at least they see me running around like a madman or tottering around with my floating teacher cart and that makes them think about me. There are over 80 teachers at my school so I'm letting myself believe this to be an honor.

Anyhow, It's been the highlight of the week, which is already identifying itself as a bad week despite it being only Tuesday. I'm so angry about so many things going on at my school right now that I feel disillusioned. In the last week, a new vocabulary program - which I successfully elminated from the curriculum three years ago because of its ineffectiveness and replaced with my own contextualized vocab program for the 9th grade - has been added to the curriculum, completely unbeknowst to me. I had to find out that the books would be on sale at the incoming 9th grade orientation at the end of the month via a letter sent home to the parents of these students. My department head sat me down and said, "I'm going to need you to support me on this." Uh, sorry. You don't make top-down decisions that are bad for the kids and make them buy a useless $18 book and expect my support. Screw you.

I fear something similar will happen to summer reading. She says she's looking to us for feedback, but I'm pretty certain she's going to do whatever the hell she wants. I internalize this stuff way too much, and I guess I need to focus on just not caring that much about this shit, and teaching what I want because no one will notice, but I got in the habit of being listened to and being able to develop things on my own and doing what I know works best, and I don't think this is happening any more.

I've never needed summer vacation so badly. I hate being Mr. Negative, becuase I'm usually an optimistic, positive force in my department and my school, but they're bringing me down.

And baseball season needs to end before I drive myself insane some more. My kids today left to get some water. And returned 45 minutes later. My best fucking players so I can't even bench them for these last few games. But, of course, they couldn't find the ice and that's supposed to be acceptable. I can't wait to get back up on this horse of coaching next year once this group of attitudinal seniors is out of there.

Not figuring it out

It's frustrating to be at the end of a season and know now all the things I should have done as a coach this year. I'm in my third year as a head coach, and for some reason I'm still not getting it quite like I should. Or maybe this is the best one can do at the end of a season. All I know is that I wrote the passes for 2:30, and I got to the locker room at 2:45 and no one was dressed yet. I got out to the field at 3:00 and the kids were still not quite ready to be in their stretch circle and start playing catch. The opponent showed up before we got our warmups done, completely eliminating that aspect of our home advantage. I laid into them after the game about it, but the damage was done.

My two other coaches today were thrown out during the game. I've never had such a combative umpire. I told him, "You're the most combative, most eager-to-throw-someone out umpire we've had every year. Why do you have such a thin skin?" and then turned away to walk away, and he told me, "If you keep walking away from me, you're out of the game." Yup, so I'm walking away, doing my best to avoid a conflict, and that's going to get me tossed? I'm going to report his sorry ass to the league commisioner.

As you can pretty much discern, it was a shitty day to be a baseball coach today. It was also a fairly shitty day to be an English teacher, as the Math department bogarted half of my kids to take some sort of practice HSA. This pretty much completely obliterated my lesson plans, and I'm going to have to reteach half the class - and they all happen to be the worst students I have - while the other half of the class holds up for a bit or does something else that I give them. It's not a dealbreaker, but it's annoying. I believe this was a directive from North Avenue, and I just don't get it. We in the English department aren't allowed to pull swarms of students from classes to take practice tests. Why not, uh, just take practice tests during class? I guess that would make too much sense. (Plus, the vast majority of our students passed the test last semester. I realize this isn't the case for all the schools, but they should know by now that one rule does not fit all.)

I'm ready for a fresh start. Thank god I'm a teacher and can have that fresh start every year.