"Hello, Dr. Diamond's Office."
"Hi, I'm wondering if you're taking new patients?"
"What insurance are you?"
"Yes, we sure are."
"Well, I'd like to make an appointment if that's okay."
"Sure. When would you like to come in?"
"Well, I'm a teacher, so any time after 3:30 is probably fine as long as I can get out of school quickly that day. Or, better yet, how about Election Day?"
"I'm sorry, we don't see new patients after 4:00."
"That's okay. I just need an appointment by 3:30 and I should be able to make it. We get out at 3:10."
"I'm sorry, you need to start your appointment no later than 3:00 in order be done by 4:00."
"Hmmmm. Another teacher recommended me to you, said you saw patients after school hours. Is that not true?"
"Yes, we see patients after 3:00, just not new patients."
"Hmmm. So, what you're saying is, you really can't take on a new patient who has a job?"
(Getting bitchy in tone) "No, that's not what I'm saying at all. We just can't see you after 3:00."
"Unfortunately, I have school until 3:10, so I guess it's just impossible for someone who, say, has a job as a teacher in the city to get an appointment as a new patient, huh?"
(Still bitchier) "No, I didn't say that. Teacher's don't work every day. For example, you have Columbus Day Off, and Election Day off, and we could see you then." (Random note: we do not have Columbus Day off.)
"Yes, that's why I initially asked you about Election Day."
(Pentacle of bitchiness.) "No, you didn't. You asked about appointments after 3:30."
"I'm not going to sit here and argue with you. You're simply too rude of a receptionist for me to ever consider visiting your doctor." (That's Dr. Earl Diamond in Pikesville who just lost out on a patient.)
I hung up.
I still need a doctor.
I admittedly have a big ol' chip on my shoulder about doctors who don't take patients after 3 o'clock. I feel like doctors are biased against people who work for a living. Ugh. Today, I couldn't lift my shoulder over my head. I need to go in to see one.
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