You know those awesome NPR "This, I Believe" essays they do every Monday? Hearing them is one of my week's highlights. Someday I'd like to write one. Unfortunately, listening to this morning's was the high point today. I'm in a foul mood that won't go away without a break of some sort: a long run, a roll in the sack, a massage, a great workout, or a cruise down the coast. With none of those things happening tonight, I'm left with just a whiny blog post. (I'm sorry. October is always one of the worst months of the school year, and my foul mood is here, right on cue.)
1. I cannot believe I have to work waiting tables tomorrow night during the first Playoff game my team has been involved with in 19 years. It makes me want to cry. I don't even know if it's on the radio. I know I've complained about the second job a little bit in my time here on the blog. However, I basically like it - I like waiting tables, and have made some lifelong friendships through the restaurant. But I'm just done.
2. I cannot believe how many papers I have to grade, and how far behind I am in school, with the complete lack of ability to stay at school until 8pm like I need to do to catch up.
3. I cannot believe how bad my Master's course is. I hate seeing a teacher struggle - I feel for her, I really do - but the classwork she gives us is so lower-level that I'd hesitate to give it to my 10th graders, and then she expects us to have fruitful discussions? I'm also worried about getting my B in it so I can get reimbursed 75%.
4. I cannot afford to keep sending Bobby money. He has a job now, but pay doesn't come for a month, and his books have now cost over $600 for this semester with the supplementary materials his professors are assigning him to buy. I'm broke myself, and sending him $60 here and $50 there is just getting more and more difficult when I'm still recouping from the summer bills.
5. I cannot believe that my gym trips have stopped completely, that I hold a membership to two athletic clubs but haven't been in a week. I feel and look unhealthy.
6. I cannot believe that my shoulder is still killing me, several months after it started getting sore. I hate going to doctors but it looks like I'll have to. I can barely do Military Presses at the gym.
7. I cannot believe I drank two energy drinks in preparation for a gym trip that I was too depressed to embark on, and now I'm all wired and will have a hard time sleeping.
***
By the way, I'm 90% sure I'm going to put in my notice tomorrow at the restaurant. I can be talked into staying - they'd have to guarantee me just Sundays for the rest of the semester - but I'm not sure if they'd want to.
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6 comments:
I have to keep my part time job for now bc it's how I have insurance until I get a "real" teaching job.
Good luck quitting...or getting just Sundays.
If it makes you feel any better, all of the playoff games are carried on ESPN Radio, which in Baltimore is WJFK 1300 AM. Hang in there!
How did it go last night? Did they talk you into staying?
I just made a guesstimate of how much you make at the restaurant based on some of the recent totals you've mentioned. You're just short on time and energy right now and it seems like the money isn't worth it. But I don't know your financial situation.
While I'm giving unsolicited advice, I'd let Bobby know you'll be quitting your job and won't have extra to send him. You helped him, got him to college, gave him a place to stay and didn't even get invited to his party. You'll always be there for him but you are now being used as a bank. He's just a kid and may not realize he's taking advantage, but he is.
You need to pay off your car, get your course work done, get your raise, get your sleep and your exercise and have more time for fun. You come first, before even your students and Bobby and the wait job. y6t777777778 The last paragraph was seconded or "7th" by my cat walking across the keyboard.
End of advice.
While I agree with a lot of what you say, I can't about Bobby. When I was in college, and if my books had cost $600 (which they never did), I had my parents to ask for a loan. Bobby doesn't. What other way is a kid without any money going to get books? He's got a job, but student employees have to wait for four weeks for a paycheck, and the prof is requiring the books by Thursday. I am worried about it becoming a regular thing, but at this point I'm not willing to cut him off for fear it's going to dramatically affect his education adversely.
You're a good man with a real heart for Bobby and all your kids. You're right that he doesn't have too many financial sources, that you're probably it. And if you never risk being taken advantage of, you never give. At least you have some worry about having the money going to Bobby becoming a financial drain and you'll keep your eyes open as you help him.
And hopefully the restaurant will step up to help YOU.
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