At times like these, I really wish I could post a private entry about something, so I would know that no one who shouldn't be reading is reading my stuff. Because, if I did, I'd be able to write a long, searing post about...
Things seem to have simmered down today, though. The crisis is not over, but I think the worst of it is.
Today was a horrible day, though. I walked around shell-shocked, to the point where one girl said, "You're too young to look like that. You look like you're 55 today instead of under 30." People kept asking me if I was alright. I wasn't. I'm was so angry at so many things that I just felt like exploding. To top it off, today was my formal observation first period. I probably would have called in sick otherwise. The observation went really well, though; my supervisor told me over and over again how much she enjoyed the lesson. So I guess I pulled it off.
The other thing I realized late in the day is that maybe my day wasn't so bad - it could have been the lack of caffeine that put me in a bad mood. Because during my planning period, I ran to Giant and got myself a sugar-free Monster energy drink and felt a lot better after that. We also had a drama-free practice that was a lot of fun, so at least the day ended well. Now it's off to Pickled Parrot for their pitcher-and-a-pound-of-shrimp deal.
So I guess things are looking up. This has been a very trying week, starting on Tuesday when I got cursed out by one of my favorite students, and going to yesterday, when I lost all shreds of respect for people that I should have respect for, people who dramatically let me down. I looked for jobs last night. I'm not feeling that way right now, but who knows what this meeting on Monday will bring.
Deep breaths, though, deep breaths. Thank god tomorrow is professional development.
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